Leading Me to Mary's Son

Leana Bowler offers an Advent reflection in Made New: 52 Devotions for Catholic Women, new from BlessedIsShe.net.

Blessed is She, an international Catholic women’s ministry, offers a new book with Harper Collins called Made New: 52 Devotions for Catholic Women to invite women to go deeper into who God made them to become. Featuring weekly Scripture, narrative reflections, and questions, the book offers a fresh look at identity, trust, and every stage and season of life.

“Let’s unpack our identity as children of God and see how these realizations change everything,” Jenna Guizar, one of the authors and Blessed is She’s founder. “We encourage you to dedicate this new year in 2022 to entering more fulling into being God’s beloved daughter.”

Enjoy "Leading Me to Mary's Son" by Leana Bowler, one of the reflections in Made New.

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Jesus had given me the tender love of His mother when I was longing for it. #catholicmom

The morning air smelled of wood burning. The clouds in the sky were the color of wet cement and hung heavy with the promise of rain. Noticing the tremble in my fingers, my husband turned up the heater in our car, sending a blast of warmth that enveloped me and brought a rush of comfort to my tense bones. I am sure he knew that my hands were shaking from nerves and not the cold. 

I was pregnant with our fifth baby after we had suffered a miscarriage with our fourth. We were headed to our ultrasound, and I was desperate to hear the sound of a heartbeat. I pulled my rosary from my pocket, feeling the smooth, worn beads in my hand. Despite the cheerful crinkle around his eyes as he smiled, I could tell my husband was nervous as well. His jaw tensed in between the silent movements of his lips as he gripped the steering wheel. He was praying too. 

When we arrived at the office, I was greeted by a large painting of the Blessed Mother with her delicate hands on her womb and blue veil flowing from her head. I felt the Lord’s gentle whisper in my heart, Emmanuel. At that moment I knew all would be well. As the ultrasound began, I saw the heartbeat before I heard it. A beautiful flicker in the darkness. Life. Our very own miracle. 

After our loss, I worried that we would not have any more children. Fear clung to me. Crippling anxiety overwhelmed my grieving heart and planted weeds of lies in my soul. Lies that God was not with me, that He did not hear my prayers. 

One day, I felt the urge to reach for my rosary. I prayed. I searched through the Word, my Bible fraying at the edges as I read the same verses numerous times to plant seeds of hope and truth in my spirit, seeds that would blossom and grow into a deeper relationship with my Savior. In His great love, God allowed me a peek into the wonder of His ways. 

My son was born on the Feast of the Assumption of Mary. I found out I was expecting on the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe. And that cold January day, when the flicker of his strong heartbeat twinkled on the screen, was the Feast of the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God. 

My faith increased swiftly in that moment as Jesus had given me the tender love of His mother when I was longing for it. Our Lady did what she always does: she led me right to her Son. Then He showed me His glory and that everything is held in His mighty hands. His love for me was displayed profoundly. God was with me through it all. 

You may have gone through times when you felt that God was far from you. Maybe you are in this place right now, reaching your hands out and pleading with the Lord to come closer. If you find yourself in this difficult place, struggling with prayer and searching for His voice amid all the noise, I encourage you to lean into today’s scripture: “God abides in those who confess that Jesus is the Son of God, and they abide in God. So we have known and believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and

God abides in them” (1 John 4:15–16). Let this verse rest in your heart.

Repeat it so that it becomes a familiar friend during challenging times. This scripture tells us that God is always with us. Even when you think He is far away and you are seeking His face, His gentle breath is whispering love over you. His face will be right next to yours. God is intimate and ever so close to you because you are His beloved daughter. Stand in this truth and be assured by it. Proclaim His love for you with a boldness that does not waiver despite the ever-changing conditions around you. 

God does not change; His love remains steadfast; and the Light of the World is generous with His love. Open your heart and receive it. You are His beloved daughter, and He abides in you. 

READING: 1 JOHN 4:15–16 

• Have you experienced consolation directly from Jesus or from His mother? Or perhaps God sent someone else. Walk through that memory. 

• Consider adopting a new prayer practice like five minutes of scripture reading a day or praying a rosary. Take a step to grow in your awareness of God’s presence. He’s always right there beside you.

Copyright 2021 Leana Bowler
Image: Andreas F. Borchert, CC BY-SA 3.0 DE, via Wikimedia Commons