Leaning In to Liturgical Ministry

Laura Steiner invites mothers to share their God-given gifts in liturgical ministry throughout every season of motherhood.

The first time I returned to the cantor stand after having children, I wondered whether I still belonged there. My squirmy toddlers were in the pew with their father, giving him a run for his money as he patiently sought to keep them from dropping goldfish into their neighbor’s purse. I felt torn between two callings I loved profoundly: motherhood and liturgical music ministry. I had assumed this season required my quiet disappearance from the Church’s public prayer. But what if motherhood is not a reason to step back from the liturgy? What if it is the reason to lean in?  

For years before starting a family, I served as a cantor and accompanist and enjoyed the blissful luxury of time to practice and serve in liturgical ministry. Then came our first Army move from the Midwest to the Pacific, and one beautiful baby after another. Quite innocuously, I found myself stepping back from liturgical music ministry to focus on my family and little ones in the pews. While I relished attending Mass with my family without having to navigate late night rehearsals, year-round availability, and the marathon demands of Christmas and the Easter Triduum, I also felt a creeping sense of identity loss. Subbing occasionally as a cantor and accompanist helped me feel more like myself again.   

Last summer, an opportunity arose to become our base chapel’s full-time cantor, and my immediate reaction was of disbelief. How could I consider serving in this way when my husband and I already had our hands full keeping our vocal toddlers from causing a scene at Mass?  

Leaning In to the Liturgy  

I, like many mothers of little ones, have taken this season of motherhood to mean stepping back from meaningful engagement in many aspects of life we had previously enjoyed. We are often in survival mode, where just making it to Mass “on time” with little ones in tow is an accomplishment itself. Just as many moms feel pressured out of professional life due to the rigorous demands of caregiving, the Church, too, risks losing the presence of mothers in roles of lay liturgical ministry unless we intentionally recognize and invite their gifts.  

I propose a reframe: this season of motherhood is precisely when women can be most deeply conformed to Christ’s self-giving love, which is at the very heart of the sacred liturgy. Vatican II affirmed the laity belong in the liturgy and can exercise genuine liturgical functions distinct from the ministerial priesthood. Saint John Paul II clarified these roles should be exercised “in conformity to their specific lay vocation” (Christifideles Laici 23).   

In living out our specific lay vocation as mothers, bringing your family to Mass is more than enough. But if you have a specific gift — music, public speaking, a love of the Word of God, or a devotion to the Eucharist — I encourage you to share these gifts before, during, or after the liturgy in whatever way works best for you and your family.  

Liturgical ministries vary in their time requirements. Musicians and sacristans typically require more extensive preparation, while serving as a lector or Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion enables you to still sit with your family for most of the liturgy. If your spouse attends the same Mass, then he can handle the children while you utilize your God-given gifts in service of the Church. If not, consider asking a friend to help you. When my husband is deployed or out of town, I am grateful for generous sisters in Christ who can sit with my little ones while I cantor.   

Serving Liturgically, Living Eucharistically  

Pope Benedict XVI reminds us in Sacramentum Caritatis that the Eucharist does not end at the dismissal. It intrinsically shapes the entire Christian life. A mother who gives of herself all day is living eucharistically. Seen through a liturgical-theological lens, God entrusts life to women. In the liturgy, the Church offers life back to the Father.  

In the domestic church, faith is learned by observation and participation. When a child sees her mother proclaim Scripture, sing at Mass, or prepare the altar, she learns that women belong at the heart of the Church’s prayer. In serving at the liturgy, mothers form the next generation, and are drawn ever deeper into the sacred mysteries ourselves. Motherhood does not reduce a woman’s gifts — rather, it intensifies them. The Mystical Body of Christ needs these intensified gifts!  

With Ash Wednesday just a few weeks away, many of us will prayerfully discern not only what to give up, but which new spiritual practices to take on in order to deepen our relationship with God this coming Lent. It is a great time to ask: how is Christ drawing you into the liturgy in this season of motherhood? 

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Copyright 2026 Laura Taylor Steiner
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