Leaning into Grace

Riding on a tube helped Kristina Talbot remember whom to rely upon to aid in maintaining balance in preparation for the upcoming school year.

I had the good fortune recently to travel with dear friends to a lake house where we took our kids tubing for a couple of days. The funny thing was that our tube was too large for the size of our group of children, so I and others took turns riding on the back, switching from side to side in order to balance out the tube. This allowed for enough weight to shift outside of the wake, which is the part of tubing that provides the most giggles. While it made for fun memories and some tired limbs the next day, it also gave me a visual image of how I often feel trying to move my family towards fun and balance by putting my whole self into it. So often, I’m holding on for dear life trying not to fall off the ride of life and while it can be invigorating at times, it can also be exhausting.

As summer draws to a close sooner than later for some parts of the country, I am ever mindful of the on-going effort to achieve balance. As a wife and working mother, the notion of balance is something that is not easily obtainable. In my work as a therapist, I am trained to facilitate people to develop balance, but I often find myself wondering if I am heeding my own recommendations.

Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:2

It is easy to get overextended in today’s parenting world where activities are expected and recommended for children. Even if we only allow each child to have one activity at a time, that still is multiplied times four in our household and many activities require more than one weekly commitment. Amid scheduling and planning, I have learned that it is important to “seek first the kingdom [of God] and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides.” (Matthew 6:33). What that means in theory, rather than in practice, is not always easily reconciled.

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Sometimes I can get so caught up in building my child’s résumé that I can forget about the importance of forming their soul. Outside activities are by design made to help cultivate the gifts within our children. Yet, when they become more central than our faith, they can become a distraction. As much as I want to lean into fun and personal development for my family, when I take time to reflect on the will of God for our household, it can look different than what the world recommends.

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Sometimes I can get so caught up in building my child’s résumé that I can forget about the importance of forming their soul. #CatholicMom

I have found the following things help in recalibrating the on-going challenges of maintaining balance:

Make prayer the priority. Everything goes better when rooted in prayer. I know this, I’ve lived this, I’ve forgotten this and been reminded again and again.
Make time for self-care, real self-care. Sometimes just taking 15 minutes can help us regroup as moms so that we are available to be the women we are called to be. It doesn’t have to be a production; it can just be a walk.

Set aside a consistent weekly family time. This may change depending on the season of life and season of activities, but dedicated unplugged family time helps everyone stay connected.
Carve out time to connect with your spouse. Like everything else, this often must be scheduled but it is well worth generating some uninterrupted time together on a consistent basis.

Teach us to count our days aright, that we may gain wisdom of heart. (Psalm 90:12)

When I learned to accept that balance is a journey, not a destination, I found more peace. I had a long history of measuring my worth in what I did rather than who I am. As a beloved daughter of God, I am learning that the weight of my family’s happiness does not fall completely upon me to fulfill all their needs and desires. The beautiful gift is being able to lean into grace.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

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