Leaning into Lent

Sherry Hayes-Peirce looks back at her Lenten plans from previous years and observes the need to add a spiritual practice rather than take something away.

One year ago on March 10, 2021, my beloved husband was called home to heaven. The Catholicmom community has provided so much support to me through my series of posts about my grief journey this past year. So many of you responded to my articles with beautiful comments and pledges to pray for me: thank you!

My husband died just as Lent 2021 was beginning, and I had a plan in place: Dynamic Catholic's Best Lent Ever, The Bible in A Year with Fr. Mike Schmitz, Hallow App #Pray40 with Jesus, and daily Mass. In addition to that, as the social media manager for my parish, I was editing and posting videos of our deacons sharing a daily reflection to our social media pages. In fact, I had just finished loading the one for the day just before my husband said he felt ill and we had to head to the hospital.

When he died, as the saying goes, the “best laid plans” blew up! My journey through the desert was transformed to a journey of grief. The season of Lent has always been a time for me to draw closer to my Lord and to be quiet and prayerful. I remember my desire to be close to Christ was shattered by anger and disbelief that “Dude” was gone so soon and fast! The last thing I yearned to do was to be close to God. In fact, I couldn’t even attend Mass online.

This year I am focused on retreating to the desert of Lent and will again participate in the #Pray40 with Jesus on the Hallow App, Daily Mass and Faith-Filled Fridays at my parish that include Silent Meditation, Mass, Litany of the Eucharist, Rosary and Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament exposed. It is the Lord Jesus Christ and the help from my biological and church family that has brought me through this season of grief so far—it is definitely not over!

As the pandemic is shifting, I am also going to be back on the main stage at the Los Angeles Religious Education Conference. It feels so strange to plan things without considering my husband, but it is now my life as a widow. I have been invited to speak about building a media ministry, as that has been how Jesus has allowed me to use my gifts to serve His Church.

We are called to pray, fast and give over these 40 days and traditionally most decide to give something they enjoy up. For the past four years that has not been my practice; rather than giving up something, I have added a spiritual practice to my journey. This year I am going to set aside Friday as my mini-retreat day.

heart shaped of purple stones, with palm frond and small wooden cross

When we focus only on the many obligatory practices we truly lose sight of the opportunity to reflect on things that separate us from a loving and trusting relationship with Christ.

I mean, really, how does giving up chocolate or social media help you grow closer to Christ? The Lord longs to be in communion with us. For me, that sometimes comes when sitting on the beach and looking out into expanse of the ocean, knowing that God is there in the sound of the waves crashing or the wind blowing through my hair. Sometimes it’s sitting alone in the silence of an Adoration chapel that my ears are opened to hear the whisper of my Lord speaking words of direction, comfort, or counsel.

God is a friend of silence. (St. Teresa of Kolkata)

As human beings, we were designed to withdraw from the busyness of life and to seek time alone in quiet reflection and meditation. I get it! My life is crazy busy and I’m working for the Lord full-time and literally right across the street from my church’s Adoration chapel and still don’t stop to just spend a few minutes with Him. Why? I simply think my earthly tasks take precedence over my relationship with God.

There are great Ignatian spirituality tools like the three-minute retreat, which literally allows you to take just three minutes in quiet reflection with God. I also love the Pray as you Go App that leads you through an examen and a daily reflection. A deep examination of your conscience during Lent is always a part of the journey. Usually it is offered in a communal penance service at your parish and it helps shatter barriers to being one with the Lord.

The unexamined life is not worth living. (said by Socrates and popularized by St. Ignatius of Loyola)

A few weeks ago, the Gospel was about us seeing the splinters in the eyes of others, but neglecting to see the planks in our own. By regularly submitting ourselves to an examen, our eyes are opened to our faults and particularly our most grievous faults.

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When we focus only on obligatory practices we lose sight of the opportunity to reflect on things that separate us from a loving, trusting relationship with Christ. #catholicmom

Having a spiritual director to guide you through life’s spiritual challenges is a wonderful practice to add to this year’s Lenten journey that could carry on for years to come. So many people pay a therapist to help them, but as Christians we need a spiritual component to our therapy too! In many cases, spiritual direction is free.

Fasting on Fridays really sparks a desire to do Corporal Works of Mercy. Feeding the poor, serving at a soup kitchen, filling a rice bowl, and donating to food pantries always helps me to feel like I am truly answering the call to serve the Lord’s people.

Last, journaling to God about how you feel for forty days can be a very therapeutic way to grow your relationship with Christ and reviewing them from year to year has helped me see and break patterns and set new spiritual goals.

So what will you do this Lent to take advantage of this time to draw nearer to the Lord in prayer and relationship? I would love to hear what you are doing and share them in a book of ideas of simple ways to connect with the Lord for forty days.

May your heart be bent this Lent to hear the will of God for your life and given the grace to do as you are called.