featured image

Carmen Lappe describes her struggle with her body image and how both our children and the Word can remind us how beloved we are.  


Over the summer, we put a pool in our backyard. I grew up having a pool out the back door, so I was eager to share that joy with my family.   

However, the amount of anxiety I have about wearing a swimsuit so frequently has been heavy and downright depressing. I adore being in the water and sun but every time I put on a swimsuit and look in the mirror, I'm angry and disgusted and sad. I’ve been navigating a chronic lack of self-confidence and feelings of inadequacy for many years now, and some days are quite dark.   

One day as the kids splashed around and I sat on the pool platform, it occurred to me how careful I always am to sit just right and suck in all the problem areas. Despite the beauty of the afternoon, I suddenly wanted to hide myself underneath a swimsuit cover and retreat to the patio. I tried to remind myself that while I may not be in perfect shape, at least my children have hearts for Jesus. I'm doing something right.  

Suddenly, it felt like a switch flipped and none of that mattered. All that mattered was how awful I felt and looked and for a moment, I accepted that being “fat” was the worst thing in this world that I could be. There was a time last year when I felt this same way, completely disgusted and disappointed with myself. At that time, I decided to try a new kind of prayer.   

I imagined myself talking to Jesus, telling Him out loud how badly I was struggling and how much I hated the reflection that greeted me. And I cried. My heart broke in a way I’d never experienced in prayer as I imagined telling the Lord, my Creator, how much I hated what I saw — how much I hated specific parts of me that He made.  

I know this is not a unique experience; so many women struggle with their body image and perceived flaws or shortcomings. But what are we to do when these impact our daily life, our marriage, or our mental health to a significant degree?  

 

null

 

What we can learn from our children and from Scripture 

We spend so much time and energy teaching our children about the Lord and the beauty of our faith. But in these moments when we don’t feel our best, my hope is that we can allow them to teach us. Notice how they look at us with love — a pure love that does not despise or judge or shame.   

Over the past few years, I’ve turned to Scripture whenever I’m plagued by a particular problem or worry. Thankfully, the Word is filled with encouragement, truth, and wisdom. In the Gospel of Matthew, Christ uses flowers as an example to teach us we need not worry about our physical appearance:   

“Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span? Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wildflowers grow. They do not work or spin. But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them. If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?” (Matthew 6:27-30) 

 

null

 

Can our worries add a single moment to our lives?  

Similarly, Saint Paul’s letter to the Corinthians reminds us that our bodies are a gift from our Heavenly Father, but whom they house is of greater significance:  

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? (1 Corinthians 6:19) 

 

The Holy Spirit living in and through us, guiding our efforts to grow closer to the Lord, will bear fruit into eternity.  

I don’t have any sage words of wisdom or solution to these challenges beyond sharing what Christ says about us. But perhaps that’s all we really need: the words of our Creator speaking truth into our darkness. Allow His voice to be the loudest one you hear — and the one you’re most sensitive to.   

We will never be satisfied if we rely on our own earthly standards of beauty. Ask the Lord to allow you to see yourself the way He sees you. Ask Him to give you His eyes and His heart when you catch your reflection in a mirror. You are His beloved; in you He is well pleased.   

Allow this quote attributed to Saint Catherine of Siena speak truth and the love of God into your heart today:  

“What is it you want to change? Your hair, your face, your body? Why? For God is in love with all those things and he might weep when they are gone.” 

 

Share your thoughts with the Catholic Mom community! You'll find the comment box below the author's bio and list of recommended articles.


Copyright 2024 Carmen Lappe
Images: Canva