Learning to Accept Uncertainty

Life’s third act teaches Leigh Ann Roman the benefits of not being in charge.

When I was a parent of young children, I believed it was important to be able to manage any challenge that presented itself. As all mothers know, you can find yourself in some really unusual situations.

My adventures in child-rearing included having a child with asthma and food allergies, another child who needed vision therapy, and the usual bicycle accidents and children’s injuries. Looking back on all of these incidents can be both humorous and humbling. But in every one of those situations, my husband and I knew what to do or figured it out pretty quickly, so that our children had their basic needs met.

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Today, I have a retired husband, children in their early twenties, and a full-time job. Watching your children walk the path of adulthood is a real test of faith. And seeing your lifelong partner begin to suffer health problems can be scary. Although I have spent the last 30 years meeting the challenges of life, I think it’s time to admit I do not have it all figured out.

Following the Path of Faith

I am trying to walk into this next phase with acceptance and authenticity. I don’t have to pretend I know what to do in every situation. It’s OK for my family to know that sometimes I am unsettled by the changes in my life. And it’s important for them to know that I turn to God and our Catholic faith for guidance in those situations.

Lately, I have found myself having conversations with my children about what they think their lives should look like at this age. Thanks to social media, it is very easy for them to compare their lives to those of their peers.

I honestly don’t know what is the next right thing for my children to do in their lives. And it is OK for me to tell them that. I am thankful that they both earned college degrees and have full-time jobs. But when it comes down to what makes a rewarding life, all I have to offer them is this: I found peace by living my life in accordance with our Catholic faith. Did that mean it was easy or I was happy at every moment? No. But I stayed the course because I believed it was the right path.

I am reminded of Proverbs 3: 5-6:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, on your own intelligence do not rely; in all your ways be mindful of him, and he will make straight your paths.

Inviting God on the Journey

No matter where I am in life, God is there with me. And I need to remember that He will be there for my children, too. God is there for us every moment of every day, as long as we invite Him in. It is our choice to turn away or walk with Him.

I have a good friend who says, “Deus Est” or ‘‘it is God,” no matter what happens. That is the kind of radical acceptance I aspire to practice as I enter this next phase of my life. And I hope I can sincerely follow that statement with, “Thy will be done.”