Let God Lead

Carol S Bannon remembers her childhood family mantra: God, family, and then yourself.

Every January begins the same. Going old-school, I put pen to paper and list everything I want done. When my children were young, the list might have included organizing closets, putting aside items to give away, and of course needed home improvements. As they grew older, my list centered on more personal goals: lose weight, exercise, take a class.

But studying 2023’s list last year, I paused. Thinking back over the years, I recalled my mom’s advice when I was a new mother. As I was telling her about my students, issues with my principal, trying to balance my classroom and home, she interrupted to ask about my husband.

“He’s fine, Mom, why do you ask?”

Her reply floored me. She quietly noted I failed to mention him at all the last few times we talked. And then she gave me this advice: “Your husband is going to be with you long after your daughter grows up and moves away. Building a strong lasting marriage is a balancing act. Do you remember what I always used to say?”

How could I forget?

My mom raised six children basically alone as my dad traveled every week. She did not work outside the home but was room mother, caretaker for our grandparents, and managed a large garden … all without disposable diapers, self-cleaning ovens, or the internet. She paid bills on the "rob Peter to pay Paul" accounting system. It seemed everyday she raised her voice in frustration, saying, “How many times do I need to tell you: “God, family, and then yourself.”

In other words, stop thinking about yourself.

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Mom’s gentle criticism back then made me rethink my priorities and change. Fast forward forty years and I am now a grandmother to nine, soon to be ten. I have settled into what I deem a pretty amazing routine: 5 AM prayers, followed by Mass, and then depending on the day, helping out with our grandchildren. And dragging my newly retired husband with me to do the driving since they all live two hours away.

And then one morning my priest began his homily with this quote:

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways ….

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, my thoughts higher than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9)

He asked: “Do you place your needs and your desires over the needs of others in your life? Do you even ask? Or do you just assume you know best? How many times a day do you ask God what He wants? Do you take the time to listen to His answer?”

Déjà vu! I actually leaned over to my friend and said, “He sounds like my mom.” Once again, I was doing what I believed to be important. I never asked my husband what he wanted to do. I had allowed my priorities and those of our grandchildren to take center stage. My schedule, my list took precedence.

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I even pigeon-holed God to fit into my plans. I prayed the same prayers every morning, then the Rosary, followed by daily readings … but no time to quietly listen to Him.

So this year, I refused to make a list! I begin each morning, praying:

O God, I adore You. I give myself to You. May I be the person You want me to be, and may Your will be done in my life today. (from the Canonization Prayer for Blessed Solanus Casey)

And before moving on, I take time to listen. As Catholic moms and grandmothers, we have a tendency to believe we know what is best for others as well as for ourselves. And we have a tendency to do more than we should because we do love our families very much. But I had forgotten I am part of a team, not the leader.

More importantly, there are three people on this team: God, my husband, and me.

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Let God be in charge of both your family and yourself this year. Let Him lead! #CatholicMom

The foundation of the Catholic family is the Sacrament of Marriage. It cannot be managed successfully by anyone other than God. Families are in a constant state of flux as our dynamics change. Children grow, move on and out, have children of their own. As moms, allowing God to lead strengthens our family bonds. He always has our best interest at heart.

And now, more than ever, strong families are needed.

The Catholic family of today may not look like the Catholic family I was raised in, but one thing is the same. Our faith is our strength. God, family and then yourself: Let God be in charge of both your family and yourself this year. Let Him lead!

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