Living Without Restraint

Johanna Stamps contemplates how we allow our pride to limit ourselves in the pursuit of virtue.

One of the best parts about living in our multi-generational household may be our scheduled afternoon cocktail. You can imagine the conversations we have over our gin and tonics. This week, we were discussing the early Church and its ability to live with reckless abandonment in the face of Jesus’ pending return. I’m sure we’re not the only people to think about this era in the Church as just being a fluke. There’s simply no way something like this would be possible today. Surely, our status quo is closer to what Jesus expected of us.

Or is it?

Then, this week, I heard a comment in a homily as I was walking next to the river. The priest mentioned, almost in passing, that the virtues historically known as the theological virtues “Faith, Hope, and Love” can be lived without measure. Even as I write it, the words can fall flat, but I may wrestle with the implications of this statement for my lifetime.

We are called to live Faith, Hope, and Love with reckless abandonment.

I love the ancient tradition of examining and allowing God to work on one virtue in my life at a time. For years, I realized I lived in blatant pride, masquerading as a false sense of humility. This joyful journey has taught me how much of my life I’ve been trying to control—how much I was limiting God by saying things like, “I couldn’t possibly manage this.”

Thinking that it was all about me and my skills, the personal restraint is actually pride. My life of restraint is not only measured and calculated—it’s prideful.

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For months, as I’ve been receiving spiritual direction in this area, I have shrugged it off, thinking, “Oh, it can’t be too bad.” I’m not out there as a false-looking Instagram influencer peddling my wares. I’m not out there seeking other people’s approval. It’s actually much worse.

What would be the only reason I would hold back on unleashing my brand of Faith, Hope, and Love on the world? The only thing that comes to mind is that I think I am only living with my power and talent. It’s all about me!

Click to tweet:
I was limiting God by saying things like, “I couldn’t possibly manage this.” #CatholicMom

What might the steps be toward reckless abandonment?

First and foremost, as I’ve been allowing God to shine the light on my pride, I’ve noticed, more and more, God’s reckless abandonment of love in my own life. I often sit in silence, just gawking at all the insane things He is doing for me and through me, despite my persistent stubbornness to surrender. That first step, on repeat, may be the spinning wheel that will send me barreling down the road towards true humility, to a life of living Faith, Hope, and Love without restraint.

What virtue is God opening your eyes to recently? How can you explore this virtue with curiosity and joy? What might a life of loving, reckless abandonment look like? How is God showing you His reckless love for you?