Make Mistakes with Your Kids

Charisse Tierney shares how allowing your kids to see your imperfections can open hearts and nurture relationships. 

Errors made by adults have a certain interest, and children sympathize with them, but in a wholly detached way. It becomes for them one of the natural aspects of life, and the fact that we can all make mistakes stirs a deep feeling of affection in their hearts; it is one more reason for the union between mother and child. Mistakes bring us closer and make us better friends. Fraternity is born more easily on the road of error than on that of perfection. (Maria Montessori, The Absorbent Mind, 250-251)

A Natural Aspect of Life

I sat next to my 15-year-old son at our dining room table. His geography book lay open between us, and my laptop sat open nearby.

We both sat quietly. I’m sure a lost, quizzical expression could be seen on both of our faces. Hesitancy to speak hung in the air, as we both knew it would come with a good dose of humility.

“Well, I don’t really know what that means,” I finally said.

My son exhaled, smiled, and said with relief, “Neither do I.”

“Let’s look some things up and try to figure this out together.”

And just like that, my son and I were a team, digging into the intricacies of world politics and economics through the lens of geography.

Not knowing was normalized and asking for help became a natural first step in the learning process.

Mistakes Bring Us Closer

My son and I read and read again. We looked up unfamiliar words. I asked questions and he asked questions. We looked up answers online and compared them to the information we were reading in his book. We compared maps and definitions and photos. He was open to correction when he misunderstood something, and I was grateful for his insight when I struggled to grasp a concept.

Instead of our usual battle over when he was going to get his homeschool work done, and our mutual frustration with his struggles, we came together and tackled some difficult material together.

I came away with a greater appreciation for what I was asking him to do, and he came away knowing I didn’t have all the answers … and that’s okay.

Fraternity Is Born

Working side by side allowed my vulnerabilities to breathe with my son as my witness. As my humanness unfolded before him, he relaxed into the learning process. I was able to model a very authentic example for him, and our parent-child bond was strengthened through the fraternity of our shared efforts.

I noticed that when I asked my son to help out with some extra chores later that day, I was met with more respect and a more immediate response than usual.

As our children’s parents, we are there to teach them and guide them from our store of knowledge and experience. But we are also there to open and soften their hearts to the plight of the human condition and to inspire kindness and empathy. We are in a unique position to tap into the sensitivities that rest in the thread of connection between parent and child.

Whether it’s schoolwork, chores, or the weightier issues that arise in young adulthood, a posture of humility and a willingness to be in the trenches of life together takes the focus off oneself and opens the door to the Holy Spirit.

“Let’s work together” becomes an invitation shared by three: the parent, the child, and God.

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Copyright 2026 Charisse Tierney
Images: Canva