Shelly Henley Kelly shares how she and her husband have committed to growing in the Holy Spirit's gift of Knowledge in their marriage.
Do you remember the day you met your spouse? Think back to when you were dating each other. That flirtatious excitement that made you look forward to spending the day with him. Those long conversations as you were getting to know each other.
After the wedding, those moments of looking longingly, lovingly at your spouse gradually become fewer and farther apart. Before you know it, your daily life falls into a routine of work and children. We find ourselves (or our spouse) working longer hours, while also juggling a myriad of commitments, appointments, and kids’ extracurricular events. One day you realize that you’ve barely spent an hour with each other alone.
It's time to ask the Holy Spirit to refresh the Gift of Knowledge in your marriage.
Knowledge is the ability to study and learn; to acquire, retain, and master information; and to put it to good use for constructive purposes. It is seeking absolute, eternal and unchanging truth; distinguishing what has value both on earth and in heaven.
Just as you learned about your spouse in those early years of dating and courtship, you need to study and learn about each other. You cannot grow in your marriage without making time to reconnect, acquire and exchange information, and put it to good use.
The heart of the intelligent acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge. (Proverbs 18:15)
When my husband and I found ourselves in this particular situation, my sister offered a great bit of advice: Date your spouse! Plan a regular day of the week where you spend time together—preferably out of the house and away from the kids—and just talk with each other. Working that into our crazy schedule proved a real challenge, but we began watching for opportunities to be more present with each other.
We noticed that one couple we know maintains a standing date night every Wednesday. Some weeks they’ll try a new restaurant in town or see a movie. But just as often they share a picture on social media of “date night” from their back patio, with burgers on the grill and their teenagers upstairs doing homework. They purposefully make time to just be together, talking about their day.
We’ve discovered our date time varies. Some weeks we meet for lunch; other times we let the kids sleep in and meet for coffee at the breakfast table. We’ve taken advantage of our college-age daughter being home for the summer to watch her younger brother allowing us to go to dinner or a movie. We’ve discovered the importance of holding hands while talking. Touching reconnects you and reawakens those feelings of being newly in love again.
No matter what stage of marriage you’re in, this gift keeps your relationship alive and flourishing. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in making time to grow in knowledge with your spouse.
And this is my prayer: that your love may increase ever more and more in knowledge and every kind of perception to discern what is of value. (Philippians 1:9-10a)
Copyright 2022 Shelly Henley Kelly
About the Author
Shelly Henley Kelly is a daughter of God, a Martha who strives to be Mary, living in the world, but not of the world, perpetually busy as breadwinner, wife, mother, catechist, and ACTS sister. A published author, Shelly writes about being a working mom and catechist at SoundMindAndSpirit.com and can be heard on various podcasts at SQPN.com.