--- title: "Marriage Gifts: Wisdom" description: Shelly Henley Kelly ponders how married couples need the Holy Spirit's gift of Wisdom. image: https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/20220216%20SKelly%201.png --- [![catholic-mom-logo-v2](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/images/catholic-mom-logo-v2.svg "catholic-mom-logo-v2")](https://www.catholicmom.com/) [![facebook](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-facebook.svg)](http://www.facebook.com/CatholicMomCommunity) [![twitter](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-twitter.svg)](http://twitter.com/CatholicMomCom) [![instagram](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-instagram.svg)](http://instagram.com/catholicmomcommunity) [![youtube](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-youtube.svg)](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAuUqHCVPDzyMgSMaMZxxug?view_as=subscriber) [![search-icon](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/search-icon.svg)](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/marriage-gifts-wisdom#) [MARRIAGE](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/tag/marriage) # Marriage Gifts: Wisdom Feb 16, 2022 7:00:00 AM  |  by [Shelly Henley Kelly](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/author/shelly) ![featured image](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/20220216%20SKelly%201.png) *Shelly Henley Kelly ponders how married couples need the Holy Spirit's gift of Wisdom.* #### The first gift of the Holy Spirit is Wisdom. As children, many of us grew up with stories of “true love” influencing our concept of romance and courtship. From fairy tales and literature to television and movies, we daydreamed about our own perfect wedding day. But did you ever notice that the fairy tales always stopped at, “And they lived Happily Ever After?” What about what comes after the wedding? The ordinary everyday real life? > By wisdom a house is built. ( Proverbs 24:3)   Our education and expectations about marriage grew from watching our parents. As we witnessed their relationship, we formed our own expectations about married life. Take a moment to consider your parents’ marriage and how it shaped your view of married life. Maybe your parents are still together after 30 – 40 – 50 years of a healthy marriage that modeled a spirit of friendship, togetherness, and mutual respect while supporting one another during challenges. But maybe your parents did not have a happy marriage. Perhaps you—or your spouse—grew up with parents who grew apart until all that was left were hurtful words and actions towards one another. My husband’s parents divorced when he was 19. The experience his father modeled was one of temper and infidelity. Thankfully, instead of learning to emulate his father, my husband took away a different lesson, adopting a strong sense of, “I will treat my wife as my mother deserved to be treated, not how she was treated.” > To heal the wounds of sin, man and woman need the help of the grace that God in his infinite mercy never refuses them. (Catechism of the Catholic Church 1608)   ![close-up of couple holding hands](https://www.catholicmom.com/hs-fs/hubfs/20220216%20SKelly%203.png?width=1080&name=20220216%20SKelly%203.png)   > [Click to tweet: > The Holy Spirit allows us to grow in wisdom, guides our thoughts, and enables us to learn from past mistakes. #catholicmom](https://ctt.ac/adDFx) The gift of Wisdom enables us to see God at work in our lives and in the world. Grounded in common sense with life experience, it helps us distinguish between right and wrong. It seeks and upholds truth and justice. The Holy Spirit allows us to grow in wisdom, guides our thoughts, and enables us to learn from past mistakes. We are not guaranteed—or condemned—to have the same marriage experience as our parents. Even now, we are modeling the vocation of marriage to our own children, forming their future expectations. With Wisdom, spouses come together and create their own journey with its many ups and downs. Being mindful of the Holy Spirit at work in our marriage opens us to grow in wisdom for a strong, lasting relationship with our spouse. > But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. (James 3:17)     ![20220216 SKelly 2](https://www.catholicmom.com/hs-fs/hubfs/20220216%20SKelly%202.png?width=1080&name=20220216%20SKelly%202.png) --- Copyright 2022 Shelly Henley Kelly Images: Canva Pro ### Share this article [![Share on Facebook](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/facebook-24x24.png)](http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2Fmarriage-gifts-wisdom%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dfacebook) [![Share on Twitter](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/twitter-24x24.png)](https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?original_referer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2Fmarriage-gifts-wisdom%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dtwitter&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2Fmarriage-gifts-wisdom%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dtwitter&source=tweetbutton&text=Marriage%20Gifts%3A%20Wisdom) [![Share on Email](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/email-24x24.png)](mailto:?subject=Check%20out%20https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2Fmarriage-gifts-wisdom%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Demail%20&body=Check%20out%20https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2Fmarriage-gifts-wisdom%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Demail) ** #### About the Author ![Shelly Henley Kelly](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/Shelly%20Kelly.jpg) ### [Shelly Henley Kelly](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/author/shelly) Shelly Henley Kelly is a wife, mother of three, and native Texan who writes and records a podcast with her sister on [Of Sound Mind and Spirit](http://www.soundmindandspirit.com/). When not writing or recording, Shelly can be found keeping the scorebook at her son’s baseball games, diving deep into historical research, or hiding with a good book in between games. [**](https://www.facebook.com/SoundMindandSpirit/) [**](https://www.twitter.com/shellyhkelly) ## Related Blog Articles [ Marriage Gifts: Understanding Read ](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/marriage-gifts-understanding) [ Marriage Gifts: Wonder and Awe Read ](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/marriage-gifts-wonder-and-awe) [ Marriage Gifts: Knowledge Read ](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/marriage-gifts-knowledge) ## Comments ## Donate now [![Support Catholic Mom](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/275132/10016573-1c5c-4aa5-baba-c2ac91fe7545.png)](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/275132/10016573-1c5c-4aa5-baba-c2ac91fe7545) [![CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c (002)](https://www.catholicmom.com/hs-fs/hubfs/CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c%20(002).png?width=1806&height=731&name=CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c%20(002).png "CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c (002)")](https://www.catholicmom.com/) ##### Subscribe to Catholic Momcast on iTunes or Spotify [![itunes-logo-black](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/logos/itunes-logo-black.svg)](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/catholic-momcast/id1362352357)[![spotify-logo-black](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/logos/spotify-logo-black.svg)](https://open.spotify.com/show/15CoipHL7z61IDcYErV0b8?si=hqaQJSxDQgq7S1hxCwsoxQ) ##### CatholicMom on Social Networks [![facebook](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-facebook.svg)](http://www.facebook.com/CatholicMomCommunity) [![twitter](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-twitter.svg)](http://twitter.com/CatholicMomCom) [![instagram](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-instagram.svg)](http://instagram.com/catholicmomcommunity) [![youtube](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-youtube.svg)](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAuUqHCVPDzyMgSMaMZxxug?view_as=subscriber) ##### About Catholic Mom [Who We Are](https://www.catholicmom.com/about-us) [Contact Us](https://www.catholicmom.com/contact) [Support CatholicMom.com](https://www.catholicmom.com/support-us)   ##### Associated Links [Holy Cross Family Ministries](https://www.hcfm.org/) [Family Rosary](https://www.familyrosary.org/) [Family Theater Productions](https://www.familytheater.org/) [Congregation of the Holy Cross](https://www.holycrossusa.org/) [Father Patrick Peyton, C.S.C.](https://www.fatherpeyton.org/) [The Peyton Institute for Domestic Church Life](https://www.peytonfamilyinstitute.org/) ### **Stay connected!** Don’t miss a thing! 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