Mary Had Quite the Task

Colleen Mallette ponders how scary it must have been for Mary and Joseph to lose young Jesus for three whole days.

Now that my children are young adults, the memories I have of their childhoods are thinning out. Of course I remember their births, their sacraments, their big events in school and athletics, their injuries and major sicknesses, our vacations and in general what our daily lives were like at different stages of their childhood.

There are two incidents that stand out in my mind that I can’t forget, mainly because they were pretty traumatic to me. Both involve having lost a child. One time was when my oldest was a toddler and thought it would be funny to hide when our company arrived. We searched all over for what felt like an hour, but was probably only ten minutes before he finally came out of his hiding place.

The other incident was in a shopping mall play area during a busy lunch playdate. I was sitting on a side table chatting with the other mom and trying to keep an eye on all four of our boys. At one point it dawned on me I hadn’t seen my younger son for a while. While still talking I searched more earnestly but couldn’t see him. I excused myself and started walking around the play area, looking in and under the structures and still couldn’t find him.

It was then I spotted an older lady walking out of a store towards the play area with my son, still in his stocking feet. I approached her in curiosity and appreciation, wondering what happened. She told me she found him standing right inside the store looking around: he thought he had seen me walking in there. I thanked her, then bent down to hug my son and talk to him about the situation and how scared I was. Again, what felt like an hour was probably only five or ten minutes but it was still terrifying to me.

mom hugging little boy

In the Gospels, we have the account of Jesus’ birth, and only one story of His childhood before the Gospel writers jump into Jesus’ adult ministry. This was when they came to meet Him and be a part of His life and were able to write first-hand accounts of what those three years were like. But wouldn’t we all love to read more stories about Jesus’ childhood. We wonder if He was a normal child or so much more perfect than typical? Did He have a lot of friends? Was He a quick learner? Was He good at memorizing Torah? Why did Luke only write one story of Jesus’ youth?

Mary would’ve been about my age when the Evangelists started writing their Gospel accounts. So her memories of Jesus’ childhood would have also been fewer by that time. But I can totally understand how losing Jesus, not for five or ten minutes but for three whole days, must have absolutely terrified her. The thought of having that happen to one of my children makes me sick to my stomach. It would definitely have been a traumatic memory that she would remember and relate to Luke when telling about Jesus' birth and childhood.

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I can totally understand how losing Jesus, not for five or ten minutes but for three whole days, must have absolutely terrified Mary. #catholicmom

In this case, retelling the story for posterity also served a bigger purpose. The fact that Mary and Joseph eventually found Jesus in His Father’s Temple, regaling the elders with His wisdom, sure said a lot about who Jesus was and knowing what His destiny was at a young age. It would make sense that of all the memories Mary had of Jesus’ youth, possibly only this stood out as showing His divinity. Maybe the rest of her memories were just normal little boy occurrences, that she felt only a mother would care about.

But if Luke had asked the specific question, “When did Jesus ever reveal His divinity to you when He was young?” Mary would certainly tell him about when she heard the angels come to the shepherds, when they had kings visit after His birth, and hearing that Jesus was in ‘His Father’s house’ when He couldn’t be found. Those would be major events that she wouldn’t be able to forget that reminded her of who her son really was (Luke 2:49). At a young age, this showed Mary that Jesus knew what the will of His heavenly Father was and that He must be about doing it.

Mary and Joseph leaving the Temple with Jesus

When we relive this memory of Mary’s while reciting the last of the Joyful Mysteries of her rosary, think about how terrifying that must have been for her. Think about the lesson she learned by not knowing where Jesus was when they left Jerusalem. But more importantly, the message she got when He told her, “Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?”

For me that drives home the tremendous task Mary had as mother of Our Lord, at all of His ages and stages. It comforts me to know that even she could lose a child and I am not the only one. It doesn’t make either of us bad moms. It validates my feelings at those times of scared anger and yet immense love and relief once they were found. It makes me feel miniscule as a mother compared to trying to be the mother of God. And it makes me grateful Mary had the courage and strength to parent the Messiah so that many years later He again would be “lost” for three days only to return in order to save our souls.