What Does It Mean to be Neighborly?

Colleen Mallette considers how the film A Man Called Otto exemplifies the Fruit of Being Neighborly, of the Second Joyful Mystery of the Rosary.

Today’s culture has really changed from the mid-1900s when families would live close to their grandparents’ homes and even take them into their own homes when they got too old to live alone. Neighbors also used to spend time outdoors in the evenings and weekends hanging out together and looking out for one another.

Families today are so busy due to dual-career parents, children’s activities planned all seven days of the week (and year-round), plus advances in transportation allowing young families to move across the country easily. I believe the pandemic also has been a factor in people spending more time isolated within their own homes or with fewer friends. Most Americans hardly know their neighbors who live more than three homes away.

The second Joyful Mystery of the Rosary focuses on Mary's visit to her cousin Elizabeth. The fruit of this mystery is being neighborly. Do young people today even know what that means, truly?

The obvious definition is that being neighborly means showing love and compassion toward another person. Just like Mary, who stayed to help her elderly cousin during her remaining trimester of pregnancy. But it means so much more.

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Besides, Jesus asked his followers who our “neighbor” really is in the Parable of the Samaritan who helped the robbed man on the road (Luke 10:36). We are to be “neighborly” to all mankind, not just our physical neighbors. That also means our bosses, our rivals, and our enemies too.

Last month a few friends and I went to see the movie A Man Called Otto, which was adapted from a novel we had read as a group, A Man Called Ove. The story is about a cantankerous old man who lives in a condo on a quiet street and desires to keep to himself because he is missing his deceased wife.

A friendly, quick-witted, pregnant mother moves in across the street and repeatedly makes the effort to be “neighborly” to this crabby man. She refuses to give up and just keeps being kind and patient with him. By the end of the movie her efforts gradually turn him into a bearable man who now has a “neighborhood family” to live for and help.

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Consider it a new Lenten resolution to do something kind for one of your physical neighbors each of the remaining weeks. #CatholicMom

What did she do to bring about this change in him? These are the ways she lived the fruit of being “neighborly” that we too can emulate:

Looked out for him.
Cared about his well-being.
Learned his routines to know when to intervene because he didn’t follow them.
Respected his quirky mannerisms, yet gently corrected him when he was too rude or gruff. Looked out for his physical needs by bringing him food.
Asked him questions to get to know him without being nosy or too intrusive.
Listened to his stories and remembered the important people in his past.
Tried to cheer him up (gave him colored drawings her daughter made of them together).
Got him involved in her own family activities and celebrations.
Trusted him to babysit their children for an evening.
Got him involved helping other neighbors in need.
Asked his advice and sought his wisdom.
Went out of her way to take care of him, even to the point where he listed her as next of kin when he had a medical emergency and was taken to the hospital.
Showed him compassion and what being a neighbor is supposed to be.

Most importantly, she forgave him multiple times when he was rude to her. Jesus commanded us to forgive not seven times but 77 times (Matthew 18:22). Family, friends, coworkers and neighbors can be difficult to get along with, but if we aren’t willing to forgive and show mercy as Jesus would, these relationships would all fail.

Consider these and other ways to live the Fruit of Being Neighborly to those you come across this week. Maybe even consider it a new Lenten resolution to do something kind for one of your physical neighbors each of the remaining weeks.

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