Mealtime Again?

Amanda Woodiel shares a workaround for the tedium of the daily mealtime routine—and it doesn't involve cooking for a month at a time.

When I was a child, I remember hearing my mother groan and say, “It’s time for dinner AGAIN? Didn’t I just do this?”

At the time, I thought it such an odd lament. I loved eating (and still do!), so another mealtime rolling around was exciting and fun. Now, as the mother and the only cook in the house, I feel my mother’s tedium. Mealtime again? Already?

Somewhat complicating things is the fact that my husband fasts all day until dinner. This means that a little supper of grilled cheese and carrot sticks isn’t going to cut it. Additionally, my second child has multiple severe food allergies, so a prepackaged frozen entree is almost certainly out of the question.

The other day I decided we’d treat ourselves to a meal at a fast-food chain. I judiciously ordered for all of us off of the value menu, forgoing drinks and ice cream. Between that and the meal I bought for the second child at Chipotle, we dropped both $60 and my jaw. So back to the kitchen it is.

Most people would tell you I’m a good cook. When the Bishop visits for Confirmation, our priest often asks me to put together a meal for him. It’s not the skill of cooking that’s the problem. It’s the monotony. The feeling of no way out.

This devil of a feeling shows up everywhere in motherhood. Diapers day in and day out. The pile of laundry that surpasses the height of the washing machine. The dishes that are never caught up. I do give thanks for food to eat, clothes to wear, and a home to store it all. I really do. I would just like a day (or a week!) off.

null

At root, what I face is a spiritual issue. It is the rebellious spirit that does not desire to surrender to God’s good plan. In short, what besets me is sloth: the reluctance to do hard things. It tempts me to joylessness, to bitterness (why do I have to do all of the work?), and to discouragement.

So what’s a tired mom to do? The first remedy, which I mentioned before, is gratitude. If you aren’t in the habit of giving mental thanks as you sweep the floor, wipe the table, or scrub the dishes, now is the time. It doesn’t need to be fancy: “thank you for the food we ate” is simple and sincere. Even with that habit firmly in place, though, sometimes we are just burnt out. Grateful, yes. But grateful and tired.

There are several strategies you can use. One is to teach your kids how to help. This is a very important endeavor, but it does take extra energy and time on the front end. Still, if you persist, there will come a day when you too experience that delicious moment of sitting at a table with food magically appearing in front of you or of clothes that somehow transported themselves, folded, into your dresser.

null

When it comes to cooking, you could also diversify your repertoire. Perhaps you are stuck in a rut. Taco Tuesday, Wednesday spaghetti, fish Friday—sprinkling in a couple of new recipes might rejuvenate you. Alternatively, maybe you need to simplify. There’s nothing wrong with serving chicken with just salt and pepper. Two-thirds of the time, it’s what my kids prefer anyway.

Another strategy is to make an effort to cook ahead, either by making double the amount and freezing half or by doing a cook-for-a-month cooking marathon, which I have done twice. It was like childbirth: for the next 48 hours I thought, I don’t ever want to go through that again, but after I had basked and delighted in what I had borne forth, amnesia set in, and the pain of the memory receded.

Even better than these ideas, though, is to formulate the bigger “why.” The trendy word for this is to “re-frame.” Why am I cooking the meals? I cook to provide healthy food for my family. I cook to save money so we can take a small trip this summer. I cook because it’s a pleasure to explore the good gifts God has given us. Go ahead and write down your foundational reasons if that helps! It is easier to take out the skillet and fry up an onion when you have a larger perspective. Tedium looks down; re-framing looks far and wide.

Click to tweet:
It is easier to take out the skillet and fry up an onion when you have a larger perspective. #CatholicMom

But maybe you’ve given thanks, diversified, simplified, planned ahead, and re-framed. Maybe you’ve done all of this and still that relentless mealtime rolls around, and you just want to groan. Well then, when all else fails, there’s that classic Catholic panacea: you can always offer it up.

null