My Children's Inheritance

Allison Brown considers how her work to break the cycles of generational trauma is a gift she can give to her children while they are still young.

When we think about our children's inheritance, we usually think about the family's money or sentimental belongings that will be passed down after we have gone. 

We hope that the financial inheritance our children will eventually receive will provide them with some assistance in building a life for their families or future endeavours. 

Lately, I have been pondering what my children's inheritance will be. 

What will I be leaving behind to pass down to my children?  

As a Catholic mother, I have realised that my children's inheritance will have greater value than money. 

Over the last few years, I have been on a journey. The Lord called me to Him, inviting me to accept His invitation. The Lord wanted to heal me, but He first needed my fiat. It was an offer I couldn't refuse, and I eagerly and desperately accepted. My life has been full of much suffering from childhood and adult trauma and chronic health problems that can often leave me housebound. I developed severe anxiety at a young age and have battled years of depression. My pregnancies were high-risk, and I was usually in and out of hospital. I grieve for the babies I miscarried. 

My health problems cause debilitating fatigue and all-over body pain. I am often physically weak and exhausted.  

For most of my life, my anxiety would spin me out of control, triggering physical symptoms. The anxiety made it pretty hard to function, and I would find myself wanting to hide from people and avoid social situations. However, at the same time, my health problems would leave me feeling isolated from the world. 

For years, I was an absolute mess, both physically and mentally. 

The trauma I experienced in childhood started to impact me as an adult not long after my husband and I became parents. For the first time, I was looking back on my childhood not only from the perspective of an adult but from the perspective of a mother. 

I remember knowing what I wanted and did not want for my children. But I lacked the wisdom, resources and support. 

Fast forward 20 years, give or take, and Jesus drew me to Him from the Tabernacle, and everything began to change. 

Jesus led me to a community where He surrounded me with people who would walk with me, guiding and supporting me through my journey. This community, with their unwavering love and prayers, has been my anchor, lifting me up and placing me at the feet of Jesus. 

What my children will gain from the hard work of my healing  

Healing is hard work, but it is hard work that needs to be done to wholly and completely be who the Lord made me to be. He didn't give me life so I would only survive. He brought me to life to thrive, live a holy life, surrender to His will for me, love Him, and be a light, serving those who seek Him. 

This does not mean there will be no suffering. It is how we suffer that matters. When I suffer, I suffer with Jesus, and He suffers with me. We are united through the cross. 

Belonging to a faithful community, receiving formation, and working with a trusted spiritual director and holy priests have all contributed to my healing. 

Practising a "rule of life," a structured plan for spiritual growth that includes daily mental prayer and examination, has laid the foundations for a more authentic relationship with Jesus. 

Learning and practising Ignatius's 14 Rules of Discernment, a set of guidelines for making decisions and understanding God's will, has given me the tools to get through periods of anxiety and desolation. 

Understanding and placing boundaries in my life have reinforced my value as a beloved daughter of the Lord and helped establish safety and peace. 

As I heal and strive to live a holy and prayerful life, everything changes around me, and I realise my children are watching and learning from me. 

This is my children's inheritance.  

Through my healing, my children are witnessing what it means to heal and grow in humility, strength, courage and faith. 

They are learning their value as beloved children as they watch me enforce boundaries to protect our family and our peace. They are learning to recognise unhealthy relationships and understand what boundaries are and are not. They know what it means to live a prayerful life as they learn to respect my time in prayer or witness me pray in church. 

And they are learning how important healing is. Through healing, we recognise our true identity and to whom we belong. We discover a freedom to be our true selves, sons and daughters of God. Jesus has revealed to me just how loved I am, and this love I have received has healed areas in my heart that I didn't even know I needed healing. Through His grace, I have worked on forgiveness and modelled to my children what true forgiveness is. Healing clears the way for a deeper, more intimate relationship with God and more authentic relationships with the people I love. This journey of healing is not just essential; it's transformative. 

I am not waiting until the last days of my life to give my children their inheritance. I am breaking the cycles, growing and healing. I am passing on their inheritance to them now, while they are still young, so they may grow and flourish and continue to pass it on, one day, to their children.  

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Copyright 2025 Allison Brown
Images: Canva