Not Just a Tag-along: When a Toddler Prays at Mass

AnneMarie Miller offers practical suggestions for encouraging your little ones to pray during Mass.

Bringing a toddler to Mass is often an exhausting experience, and it’s prompted me to ponder why I take my little ones to Mass so often. After all, my husband and I could drop our little ones off at a nursery while we attend Sunday Mass. I could also find ways to attend daily Mass without my youngest kids: perhaps by dropping them off at someone’s house or attending Mass when my husband could watch them.   

Utilizing the nursery during Sunday Mass is a huge gift for many people, especially single parents. Furthermore, getting to a daily Mass without little ones can be a great opportunity to focus on the prayers and Scripture readings. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to attend Mass without a wriggly little one in our arms!   

 Yet, whenever I think about attending Mass without my toddler, I pause. Not only do I truly love attending Mass as a family, but I also don’t want to deprive my toddler of the liturgy. Toddlers and babies sometimes seem like “tag-alongs” who don’t participate or understand what is happening at Mass, but I’ve discovered that they understand far more than I once imagined. Not only that, but they have an important role in the Mass, too.   

My toddler … a priest? 

At our Baptism, each of us is anointed with holy oils and becomes a sharer in Christ’s office of priest, prophet, and king. All of the baptized — including my toddler — exercise our share in Christ’s priesthood at the liturgy. Lumen Gentium, the Dogmatic Constitution on the Church, states:  

Taking part in the Eucharistic sacrifice, which is the fount and apex of the whole Christian life, they offer the Divine Victim to God, and offer themselves along with It […] not indeed, all in the same way but each in that way which is proper to himself. (LG 11)  

Our baptized toddlers, even as they wiggle and babble, can still exercise their share in Christ’s priesthood at Mass. Each of them can pray and offer thanksgiving “in that way which is proper to himself.”   

Not only that, but attending the liturgy is a way for our toddlers to interact with God and enjoy their relationship with him. Young children have a rich capacity for a deep relationship with God, and we can’t always see what’s going on in their minds and hearts they bounce in the pews. Yet, we know that they are still spending time in God’s presence — and that’s a powerful gift for them. If I stop taking my toddlers to Mass altogether, not only will I deprive them of an opportunity to exercise their share in Christ’s priesthood, but I’m also taking away the chance for an intimate encounter with Christ.   

I think of once, when my toddler was having a particularly rough time at daily Mass. It seemed like this toddler didn’t spend any time in prayer or respond positively to the liturgy. However, just a few hours later, this same toddler asked if we could go to Adoration. I think of another time, when we began praying the Rosary on the way to Mass, and another of my young children offered the Rosary for everybody who would be at that liturgy.  

These are just small glimmers I’ve observed, and it’s been beautiful to see these small indications that my various young children are prayerfully encountering God throughout the week.  

Three practical ways to pray with toddlers at Mass  

We can also help our toddlers learn and practice prayerful participation at Mass. There are many ways to do this, and here are a few ideas we can start with:  

Set an intention beforehand  

Just as we offer intentions during the Rosary or family prayer time, we can choose a specific intention to pray for at Mass. If your toddler can communicate a prayer intention, then he or she can say that before Mass begins. If your toddler isn’t communicative in that way, you can also pick an intention and share it with your toddler. Throughout Mass, if your toddler gets wiggly and distracted, you can quietly remind him or her of the prayer intention. For example: “Remember, let’s pray for Daddy!”).  

Look at the artwork in the church 

Young children are often drawn to beauty, and looking at sacred art can be an act of prayer for them. For many centuries, stained glass windows have conveyed scenes from the Bible and the lives of the saints so that people can meditate and pray. Statues and icons of saints also provide focal points for meditation and prayer. When my kids have gone through the wiggly toddler stage, we’ve often spent part of Mass in the back of church, looking at the statue of Saint Thérèse of Lisieux.  

Reference the relationship 

Young children are in a particularly sensitive time for relationship, and as I've discussed previously, we can help them enjoy this special time with God, the angels, and saints at Mass. Even something simple as whispering, “Look, there’s Jesus. Jesus loves you so much!” can help our toddlers ponder Christ’s tremendous love for each of us.   

What other ways can we help our toddlers pray at Mass? 

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Copyright 2024 AnneMarie Miller
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