Offering Grace to my Child

Amid the challenges of being a parent to young adults, Mary Lou Rosien is reminded that the best gift she can give her children is grace.

Raising my children to adulthood has been one of the greatest joys of my life, however, at times it can be the most painful journey to let them be the adults that we have raised them to be. Recently, one of my children made a life changing decision that we did not agree with. We gently provided input, we prayed (and prayed and prayed). We tried to let go and let God in the best way we knew how; the situation did not change.

My momma heart was breaking. I felt sad, scared, even rejected a little by my child and by God. As I lamented to a friend of mine she asked me a question that changed everything, “Can you offer them grace?”

Grace? I wanted to shake some sense into my (supposedly grown-up) child. My friend gently shared a time when she was in a similar situation. Eventually, things fell apart for her child. She explained that God had given her wisdom to let her child leave with love and remind her that she always had a soft place to land if things changed.

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One of my core parenting beliefs has always been to imagine my relationship with my children five years from now. It helps me to be proactive and not reactive in difficult situations, and yet, in my frustration and fear, I was not really following my own core principle.

I took my friend’s advice and sat my child down. I was honest about my concerns, but reminded them that I would be here if things did not turn out the way they expected. I offered my child grace.

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When they need me, I’ll be here, with arms wide open and the gift of grace. #CatholicMom

I wish that I could say that things have gone smoothly. I would love to tell you that one of the many novenas I prayed was answered and that my child changed their path. They have not.

God has a plan and He will find a way to move things in the best direction. Perhaps this season is as much about what I need to learn as what my child needs to learn. I now pray for peace. I love my child and am proud of so many of their choices. I focus on those things and trust that they will find their way. When they need me, I’ll be here, with arms wide open and the gift of grace.

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