Our True Identity

While we seem to redefine ourselves throughout our lives, Lindsey Mitzel maintains that our true identity remains constant.

Every year on my kids’ birthdays we conduct a “birthday interview.” The questions range from favorite color and favorite book to “if you could have one wish, what would it be?” It’s especially fun to re-read toddler answers to these questions! One of my favorites is, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Do you remember how you would have answered that question as a child? Did your answer change over time? I think for most of us, what we are doing (whatever that means) now is not quite what we imagined it would be when we were six. A lot of our identities change throughout our lives. Sometimes this can be very disconcerting; shaking us to our core if we’re not rooted strongly in our true identity in Christ.

Motherhood has shaken my identity with each new birth. I am redefined as a “new mother,” then “mother of (insert new number of children),” and one who “has their hands full.” My body changes, my friends change, and how I spend my time inevitably changes. Sometimes redefining my identity is beautiful—when my husband and I married we became one in the eyes of the Lord and now strive to live as one in this world. However, defining our identity can be challenging too. For example, it is unpleasant to be defined by others. And it’s easy to feel as mothers that we are expected to juggle all the balls and not let any drop, even though that’s realistically impossible.

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Think about how much defining and redefining happens throughout a lifetime, especially within motherhood. The baby stage and toddler years, school age, tweens, teens and beyond affect who we are and what we are able to do. In each season we can offer ourselves in some ways and need to say “no” in other ways, and that is in constant flux. So, is it any surprise that we may feel like if we don’t keep juggling all the balls, they will drop, and the result could be detrimental? The truth, though, is that it’s not our responsibility to keep the balls in the air at all.

[Far] too many of us are walking around in one of two ways—either with an overwhelming sense of hopelessness or with the crippling burden of responsibility. The hopelessness leads us to wonder what is the point of it all. We can’t make sense of the randomness of tragedy and injustice in our world. The confusion that results can cause us to question whether God is really in control, whether He has an overall plan that is ordered to our good. All too often, we conclude that it’s really up to us. We have got to pull things together. The result? We carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. (Walking With Purpose, Fearless and Free, p. 31)

Our true identity is that we are beloved daughters of God. We were adopted by God at our baptism, and His commitment to us as our Father never wavers—it is eternal. More than ever before, our culture is shaking the very core of our identity every day. Your identity matters. Your motherhood matters. It is not just a name—it is part of our very existence.

Click to tweet:
We don’t just belong to God after Baptism; we are beloved. #CatholicMom

We don’t just belong to God after Baptism; we are beloved. Not just loved a lot, mind you—beloved. Sought out, precious, beautiful to the Lord; each of us individually loved as though we are the only one in the universe. This reality never changes, and we can do nothing to diminish it. Even our greatest sins don’t decrease God’s infinite love for us—He never walks away from us. When everything seems like it’s falling apart, God is not. His love remains. He is constant. He never changes. He is enough.

Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices. (Saint Teresa of Avila)

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