Patience for Everyone

Rachel Watkins discovers she needs to work on patience in new way (again)! 

If you were asked what is the most important virtue for a parent to have, what would you answer? Faith, hope and charity are the theological virtues as described by Saint Paul in his First Letter to the Corinthians. The cardinal virtues of prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance are listed in Wisdom 8:7.  

These are the premier virtues, and all other virtues find their beginnings in these. But I doubt many of us are going to name any of these as the most important virtue for a parent. For me, the virtue that comes to my mind as a spouse and parent is patience, which is rooted in fortitude. 

Patience Rooted in Fortitude  

Here’s a quick lesson in virtue. The Catholic Dictionary notes: “As a virtue, fortitude is a steadiness of will in doing good in spite of difficulties faced in the performance of one's duty.”  

Patience is an aspect of fortitude asking us to respond with charity in all situations, with all people: a practice of fortitude if ever there was one. Responding with patience requires a firmness of spirit often lacking. That same dictionary tells us, “Patience is mainly concerned with bearing the evils caused by another.”  

Read that carefully: “evils caused by others.” Such as our children? Our spouse? Evil? This definition hits hard. In my lack of patience toward them, am I saying my spouse or any of my children are evil? Difficult, frustrating, and stubborn? Perhaps. But evil? Never. And walking away from the dictionary and into real life, patience is a virtue hard to hold throughout a typical day. Due to my own sinful nature and others’, my hold on patience is fragile at best.  

We all know this. We all know we need to pray for patience several times a day as we deal with ourselves and every other person on the planet. While few (if any) of them are evil, they are just as prone as we are to the mistakes and sins we all know too well. To put it bluntly, God asks us to strive toward virtue, to respond with love in all encounters, and, in a word, be patient with everyone.  

And speaking of God, are we patient with Him?   

This question came to me as once again I knelt in His presence and got to my grocery list of prayer intentions. This list always begins with my spouse, my marriage, each of my children by name and ends with my own healing. In the middle I hope to remember the newest requests, world issues and so on. In every regard, I am both the persistent widow at the door requesting justice (Luke 18:1-8) and Saint Monica.   

Impatience in Prayer  

My prayer begins with a time of adoration toward the Trinity, thanksgiving for all the blessings I have already received, contrition for my sins and ends with my ever-growing list of supplications. These steps of prayer create the well-known acronym ACTS: adoration, contrition, thanksgiving and supplication. A simple way to remember a fruitful method of prayer.   

During this particular prayer time, though, I recognized I was praying like an impatient child. My supplications had a bit of whine to them, a certain tone I had heard so often. Are we there yet? Are you done with your telephone call yet? It is time to go yet? Those questions, so many times, ended with “yet.”   

Have You answered my prayers for my spouse yet? Why isn’t my child back at Mass yet?   

I have little patience, it seems, for God and His time frame. As a result of both Confession and spiritual direction, I know the source of this whiny attitude is my lack of trust in God and His perfect plan. If His plan is perfect (and it is), His timing is perfect as well (regardless of what I think).  

Trust is the virtue that finds its beginnings in faith. Do I really have faith in a God Who promises good things to those who love Him?  

The parable of the widow and judge in Luke 18 left Jesus asking His followers, 

“Will not God then secure the rights of his chosen ones who call out to him day and night? Will he be slow to answer them?” (Luke 18:7)  

God is never slow to answer our prayers. He just works outside of our time and space. He requires our patience toward Him, which is then good practice for our patience toward others. Saint Paul, who taught us those four cardinal virtues, also tells us, “Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer” (Romans 12:12).  

Share your thoughts with the Catholic Mom community! You'll find the comment box below the author's bio and list of recommended articles.

Copyright 2025 Rachel Watkins
Images: Canva