Pooh Bear Is It

Colleen Spiro, unprepared for her mother's death, found comfort when she discovered a shared interest between her mom and her grandchild.

“Therefore, stay awake, for you know neither the day nor the hour.” (Matthew 25:13) 

My mother recently became very ill. She lived alone 1600 miles away from me. When my brother visited her and discovered her in a confused state, he called an ambulance. She was admitted to the hospital.

She was confused at times and extremely weak. She had not been eating and was malnourished. She had not been taking her medications.

During her hospitalization, my brother worked tirelessly to find a way for her to go home again. Maybe she would need assisted living for a short time, but the goal was for her to eventually go home.

My brother and I talked about the timing of everything. I was not able to get there until my husband was finished with some medical procedures. When I knew he was ok, I made plane reservations.

The plan was for me to be her nurse at home and we would get her some physical therapy and we would monitor her medications and diet. We hoped that she would be able to eat and get stronger. In the back of my mind I knew that assisted living arrangements may need to be made if she couldn’t stay at home, but that was the worst of it.

Or so we thought.

But she suddenly took a bad turn. She was going home but it would be with hospice care. That was what she wanted.

I didn’t make it to see her in time. I thought she would have a few more days, but I was too late. I was grateful that my brother’s girlfriend was with her. She said that when she told my mother that she was home, Mom smiled and closed her eyes. And never opened them again.

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There is no way to prepare for a mother’s passing. There is no way to describe the pain and the grief of losing not only my mother, but one of my best friends. #catholicmom

There is no way to prepare for a mother’s passing. There is no way to describe the pain and the grief of losing not only my mother, but one of my best friends.

She leaves a huge hole in my heart and my life.

And I sit in my chair with a box of tissues and my mother’s favorite stuffed animal – Winnie the Pooh. I feel like a little girl, crying, wanting her mommy to come home.

It is so true. We do not know the day nor the hour.

I have a granddaughter who will be 2 years old in a few months. My mother never had a chance to meet her, but I sent her tons of pictures and videos. When my granddaughter comes to visit, I go to my bedroom and bring out Winnie the Pooh for her to hug and play with. I have been doing that since she was born and she doesn’t seem interested in any other stuffed animal.

Pooh Bear is it.

My mother would approve.

Copyright 2021 Colleen Spiro
Images (from top): Pixabay (2017); copyright 2021 Colleen Spiro