Pretzels and Prayer: Holy Week Tenebrae with Little Children

AnneMarie Miller shares a simple event that offers kids a chance to pray and play together during Holy Week.

During Lent a few years ago, I realized I had missed the Tenebrae service.   

I had first encountered this Holy Week prayer service as a college student. In the chapel, chanted psalms interspersed with readings from Scripture. Candles were gradually extinguished, until the entire chapel was immersed in darkness. This was a powerful experience that helped me enter into Christ’s Passion in the final days before Easter.   

As I thought about Tenebrae, I scoured the internet to see if any local churches hosted this service. A couple of them did, but when I looked at the details, I wondered if adding another commitment to Holy Week was feasible. At that time, I was pregnant with my fourth baby, and my oldest child was five years old. Between all the Chrism Mass and the Triduum liturgies that our family enjoyed attending, we would already be spending several hours at church that week — not to mention the hours spend preparing for Mass and driving across town. Could I really expect my kids to sit through an additional prayer service? Could I handle another lengthy prayer service that week?  

A Simple Solution  

While I believe it is important to expose young children to beauty and rich liturgies, I didn’t want to try attending a Tenebrae service at that time. So, I was excited when I realized that Kendra, at Catholic All Year, had shared online about an at-home Tenebrae service. I decided that, with a few tweaks, this would be the perfect solution for our family.   

I decided that the Wednesday of Holy Week (commonly referred to as Spy Wednesday) would be a good day to do this. Instead of doing this in the evening, during or after dinner, I thought it would be easier to do in the afternoon, following naptime. Finally, I decided to try my hand at homemade pretzels, figuring that food would be a good motivator for my children. I enthusiastically bought some tealight candles from a craft store and grabbed a beat-up tray to place them on.   

When Spy Wednesday finally arrived, my kids excitedly closed the drapes and I lit the candles. I read the prayers aloud while my children excitedly watched flamed flicker. They happily banged on the table during the strepitus and they devoured homemade pretzels before playing together. It was short and simple, and a perfect way to pray and relax during a beautiful, but exhausting, week.   

Pretzels, Prayers, and Playtime  

We liked this simple at-home Tenebrae so much that the next year, I planned to lead it again. On a whim a day or two beforehand, I invited a friend of ours to bring her baby and join us. I discovered that involving a friend made this little event even more fun! (I also realized that it’s good to warn mothers with babies about the loud banging that occurs during the strepitus). The next year, with a little more foresight, I invited even more families to come join us.   

As I sat at the table and chatted with my friends over pretzels and fruit, our kids waved foam swords at each other, played with toys, and laughed together. Not only was our simple Tenebrae a good chance to prayerfully enter the final days of Lent, but it also provided a much-needed outlet for little ones to roughhouse during a week when they spend several hours in a pew at church.   

Someday, I’d love to introduce my children to a Tenebrae service with a full choir and deep solemnity, like the one I attended in college. For now, though, we’re happy with Tenebrae at home. It’s quickly become a treasured part of our family’s Holy Week observance.  

If you haven’t yet tried an at-home Tenebrae service, this year is a great time to start! Gather some candles, print off prayer sheets, and make or buy pretzels. Invite some friends and enjoy this time for prayer and relaxation as you prepare for the intensity of the Triduum.   

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Copyright 2025 AnneMarie Miller
Images: (center) copyright 2025 AnneMarie Miller, all rights reserved; all others Canva