Prompt Me to Pray Through [my Mom’s] Palliative Care

As Monica McConkey cares for her mother, she prays her way through the many emotions she's experiencing.

After quite the busy year with two daughters getting married, I have found myself in a new season of life: together with my dad, my brother and my husband, I am caring for my beloved mom, as she nears the end of her life in palliative care. 

My mom is my favorite person! She is the most kind, the most self-less, the most loving person I know!  

Her strong, holy faith is palpable: through her service to the Church (46+ years playing the organ), and the example she has set as a mom, wife, and daughter of God, with her many prayers and devotions, impeccable Mass attendance, and her faith in action through constant kindness, goodness, generosity and care for others. 

I know there is a crowd up in Heaven, eagerly awaiting her arrival, but I don’t want to let go! 

These are some Prompts to Pray that I have found helpful, particularly in the last two months. 

“Jesus, I want what You want.” 

And when it feels like my heart needs a little convincing, I pray, “Jesus, please bend my will to Yours.” 

Praying When I Consider What She Has Already Lost

When my heart stops as I consider the things she will not be able to do again, the things she won’t see again, (beyond her hospital bed in the living room), the family milestones she will likely miss (after this summer), the activities she won’t enjoy again, like attending Mass in person, eating at a restaurant, or playing the piano, (just a foot away from her bed): I realize that Jesus has the best plan for her salvation. He wants her total happiness and He’s getting ready to welcome her into Eternal Happiness with Him.

I don’t want to imagine life without her here with me, but I want what is best for her, and only Jesus knows what that is. When I get lost in these thoughts, I choose to pray “Jesus, I want what You want” or this Prayer of Surrender:

Prayer of Surrender 

Lord, help me to entrust my mom into Your loving hands. 
I surrender what I cannot control. 
Show me how to best care for her in her suffering,  
to love her most tenderly and to be present to her. 

Praying When I'm Helpless in Her Time of Suffering

When I feel so helpless because she is suffering; when she is in pain. After I run around trying to see if I can give her meds, or a heating bag, water to drink, tea to settle her stomach, a gentle massage, or another pillow, I pray

Prayer for Peace and Comfort 

Jesus, heal her, comfort her, and console her  
and pour your graces on me to help any way I can.
Jesus, be close to my mom in her suffering.  
Please ease her pain, calm her fears,  
and let her feel Your Presence.
Show me how to reflect Your peace, love, joy and hope. 

 Praying When I'm Angry or Afraid

When I feel angry because this is happening to my mom, I pray:

Please, Jesus, use her suffering to get a whole lot of souls out of purgatory
and when it’s her time, please fast-pass her directly into Your arms 
and into the arms of all her loved ones up there. 

When I am afraid: afraid to not be able to meet her needs, afraid that I will not recognize a pain that can be remedied, and afraid that I won’t be able to cope without her, I will pray:

Jesus, fill me with Your Grace,  
make up for what I lack, 
prompt me to be attentive and useful, 
and prompt me to keep trusting in You. 

Praying When I Am Tired, Overwhelmed, or Frustrated

When I feel tired or overwhelmed when I’m at her side (and especially when I’m not at her bedside), I pray:

Prayer for Strength and Endurance 

Holy Spirit, I am tired and stretched thin.  
Please fill me with Your strength and Your grace. 
Help me to be patient, gentle, and present.
 

When I feel frustrated with others who seem preoccupied with their own needs and almost oblivious to my mom’s suffering and the reality of how little time we may have left with her, I pray for patience with them, peace and joy for my mom, and for Jesus to be patient with me in my littleness.

Prayer for Grace to Cherish the Moments 

Father, help me to treasure these moments with my mom.  
Help me to remain fully present to her.  
What prayers, memories, words, or simple gifts can I offer her? 

Praying When I Feel Anxious

When I feel anxious about what is to come, I know I need to choose to pray “Jesus, I trust in You”. Sometimes, this is just a deliberate act of the will. They are words I repeat, while I feel more tremble than trust. God knows my heart and that I want to trust Him more and more. 

Prayer for Trust in God’s Timing 

God, I trust in You in the days ahead,  
even when they feel uncertain or painful.
You have walked every step with us.  
Remind me that Your timing is perfect.
Help me to feel Your presence and Your grace
and prompt me to trust in You.

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Copyright 2025 Monica McConkey
Images: (top, center) copyright 2025 Monica McConkey; (bottom) Canva