Remember Me This Halloween

Sherry Hayes-Peirce encourages families to find special ways to remember their deceased loved ones as we approach November, the month of the Holy Souls.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas already and we haven’t even reached the month of November. Last month I was at Disneyland and on September 30, the park was already transformed for Halloween.

In our Catholic tradition, we don’t celebrate Halloween: we celebrate All Hallows Eve! Parishes host All Saints and or All Souls Masses with an option to add the names of loved ones to a novena. Various cultures celebrate their beloved dead in other ways too. Of course, the movie Coco shines a light on the Mexican cultural practice of Dia de los Muertos.

As a child of a parent who grew up in New Orleans where there is a great emphasis on remembering our dead every year, going to the cemetery is just part of my regular practice for celebrating this liturgical feast and requesting their names be added to the novena.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that we should pray for the dead:

This teaching is also based on the practice of prayer for the dead, already mentioned in Sacred Scripture: ”Therefore [Judas Maccabeus] made atonement for the dead, that they might be delivered from their sin. From the beginning the Church has honored the memory of the dead and offered prayers in suffrage for them, above all the Eucharistic sacrifice, so that, thus purified, they may attain the beatific vision of God. The Church also commends almsgiving, indulgences, and works of penance undertaken on behalf of the dead.” (CCC 1032)

At every Mass we pray for the dead in our community as part of the prayer of the faithful. In the month of November our liturgical dedication is to pray for the Holy Souls of Purgatory.

Our Catholic tradition calls us to Corporal Works of Mercy to bury the dead. About six months after my husband died, my pastor recruited me to act as a bereavement minister. I thought it would be too hard to serve in such a role. However, the Holy Spirit was definitely in the midst of this experience. The first two funerals I helped to plan were also widows and we had much in common that helped to bring them comfort and consolation, but also helped me to heal.

null

There are also other ways we can perform works of mercy to bury the dead. Show up at funerals! It is so sad to see twenty people show up for the funeral of someone who lived a full life: it appears that they touched so few people. You can offer to serve as an adult altar server at the funeral Mass. You can send flowers to their grave site at the cemetery.

I love the song “Remember Me” from the movie Coco. It reminds me how important it is to think of my loved ones and pray for them and to know they are waiting for me in heaven. This year is the 25th anniversary of my father’s death and while I don’t think of him every single day, he is often on my mind, especially when I pray the Rosary. It is my father who taught me and inspired me to be a faithful Catholic. This year is also the fifth anniversary of the death of my childhood priest, Msgr. Thomas Acton. Every time I lector, which is for sure every Monday at 8:10 AM Mass, I pray and remember him.

Say their name! People seem to struggle with talking about people who have died. It is a way to remember the dead, but some think it makes those who mourn them sad. For those who mourn, it makes them sadder that people seem to forget about their loved one over time. I love to hear my husband’s name as a Mass intention. It reminds the entire congregation to pray for him and for me on my grief journey.

In recent years many dioceses celebrate All Souls and Saints separately. As a widow I especially pray for the intercession of the saints for widows to help give me comfort and consolation.

St. Paula, Pray for us.
St. Brigid of Sweden, Pray for us.
St. Frances of Rome, Pray for us.
St. Matilda, Pray for us.
St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, Pray for us.
St. Isabella of Portugal, Pray for us.
St. Monica, Pray for us.
St. Elizabeth of Hungary, Pray for us.
St. Jane Frances de Chantal, Pray for us.
St. Felicity, Pray for us.
St. Louise, Pray for us.
St. Rita of Cascia, Pray for us.

There are many litanies available for people to pray for the intercession of the saints to pray for their loved ones that can be found online. A few months ago, I started a widows ministry to provide a monthly meeting of women mourning the loss of their spouses and we share stories and support one another as we travel the road of grief.

Click to tweet:
Just as you make plans for your costumes and candy on Halloween, make a plan to remember your loved ones in a special way during November. #CatholicMom

This year, maybe create a new tradition. Just as you make plans for your costumes and candy on Halloween, make a plan to remember your loved ones in a special way during November. How about placing pictures of those who have died on a table with candles? You can also share memories of the loved one with kids, or wear an item from your loved one who died, in remembrance.

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May their souls and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen

null