Resting ... at Mass?

AnneMarie Miller questions whether we can rest at Mass — and what that would look like.  

The conversation with my young children goes something like this:   

“I don’t want to go to Mass,” one of them will declare.  

“Why not?” I respond.  

“I’m tired. I just want to rest.” 

“You could rest at Mass.”  

At this, the child looks confused, insisting that “No, I can’t rest at Mass.” After all, how can we rest with all of the sitting, standing, and kneeling in the Roman Catholic liturgy? It’s definitely different from our family’s usual style of rest, which involves curling up on the couch with a book or game. Yet having this conversation kids has helped me reflect on what resting at Mass can look like — and why we need it.   

Mental chaos at Mass  

I’ve spent many Masses consumed with my own concerns and worries I launch into the liturgy with an agenda, I wrap myself up in mental chaos and anxiety about my toddler’s wiggles, and I think about all the things I “need” to do at home. Even though Jesus is right in front of me, pouring out His mercy and peace, I am too busy with my own thoughts to enjoy being with Him. I am too wound up with my own chaos to look at Christ and recognize His gaze of love.   

I think about the teachings of Christ, I immediately think of our need to rest. In St. Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus says:

“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

Can I rest in God’s love when I participate at Mass?  

What can rest at Mass look like?  

When discussing rest at Mass, some of my children have asked if we can sit in the pews without paying attention, or if we can lie down and sleep. I’ve had to reassure them that most of our family (not including babies or toddlers) is capable of staying awake during the liturgy. Moreover, instead of sitting back and letting our minds wander, we can actively participate at Mass.   

The Constitution on the Sacred Liturgy states that the faithful

[The faithful] should not be there as strangers or silent spectators … they should take part in the sacred action conscious of what they are doing, with devotion and full collaboration (Sacrosanctum Concilium 48).  

We’re invited to participate — but we’re also invited to rest. How do we do this? Over time, I’ve realized that my internal attitude impacts the way I participate at Mass. So, instead of being internally busy, I can strive for a restful participation in the liturgy. I can participate in a way that brims with the peace and rest of Christ. Not only does this benefit me, but it helps my kids — for just as our anxiety and stress affect our children, our restfulness and peace do, too.   

Practical aspects of restful participation 

I still have a long way to go in fully embracing a restful attitude at Mass, and I’m continuing to pray through what this looks like. We all have to start somewhere, though, so here’s what I’ve been trying so far:

Stop focusing on what other people (might) think 

It’s easy to focus on what I believe other people are thinking about my young kids and I at Mass. Yet, not only is it unfair to assume that others are being judgmental, but it’s silly to think that I can possibly know what others are thinking. Furthermore, the mental battle that ensues distracts me prevents me from truly resting in God—because I’m spending much more time in my own thoughts than consciously participating in the liturgy.  

Make time for prayer outside of Sunday Mass 

If I treat Mass as my only prayer time, then I feel a lot more preoccupied during the liturgy. I’m focusing on getting in all of my devotions before, after, or during the liturgy—and if that doesn’t happen, then I feel frustrated. Yet, when I make time for God throughout the week, I’m better able to rest and prayerfully participate at Mass. I’ve also heard of moms of young kids or people with specific roles at weekend Masses (like music ministers) make the time to attend daily Mass alone during the week, to help them rest and pray at the liturgy without distractions.  

Live in the present moment 

Especially when some of my kids are in active phases, it can be easy to focus on how much longer Mass is, and what I still need to accomplish. However, when I leave my “to do” list at the door and focus on the present moment, I’m able to restfully pray and participate in the liturgy.  

Ask God to calm the storms 

In Mark’s Gospel, we read that when Jesus and the apostles were at sea and a storm broke out, Jesus “woke up, rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Quiet! Be still!” The wind ceased and there was great calm." (Mk 4:39) When I enter the church for Mass, I often ask God to calm the storms of my day and my mind so that I can truly rest with him in the liturgy.  

What other ways can we practice restful participation at Mass?  

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Copyright 2024 AnneMarie Miller
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