Running with God

Megan Cottam shares how she learned to value dependence on God as a prerequisite for success.

"Put out into deep water and lower your nets for a catch."
Simon said in reply, "Master, we have worked hard all night and have caught nothing, but at your command I will lower the nets."
When they had done this, they caught a great number of fish and their nets were tearing. (Luke 5:4b-6)

Two years ago, I set out to run a marathon. Yes, I had heard the advice about training teams, plans, nutrition help, and supportive friends. However, the introvert runner in me decided I was going to do this on my own. I did not need any gimmicks. I was going to train without burdening anyone, even if it meant less than ideal conditions. Fast-forward to four weeks prior to the race, after weeks-on-end of grueling training, and there I stood making plans to watch from the sideline in my medical boot thanks to a stress-fracture. At the end of the day, I stood like the fishermen in Luke’s Gospel account, having “worked hard all night,” yet standing with an empty net, exhausted and frustrated. Maybe this wasn’t for me.

Gaining some humility, I set out to run the race the following year with a different strategy: As I healed, I read every book on marathoning and nutrition. I scoured training plans for the best fit. I spoke to every runner I could find for advice. Training became liberation instead of chore, and my body grew strong and able. I found ways to include my family in the process. Rather than continue with my own desires, I finally discovered the courage to ask God, “Should I even do this?” He confirmed that I should “put out into deep water” and again train for this lifelong goal. Together, we carried on, and He provided.

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The day of the marathon came, and it was much warmer than anticipated. I had learned by the higher-mileage workouts that this petite 5’2’’ frame could not carb-load all the fuel I’d need for the race, and I certainly could not keep hydrated. Unlike shorter distances, it is impossible to run a marathon on your own. I had family members mapped along the course throwing various liquids and food items at me so I could carry on.

About 11 miles in, I started to watch my fellow runners drop. Heat, poor training, and lack of proper fuel was getting to people. It was threatening me as well. I began to tune in to the sideline crowd. “You’re racing the distance, not the clock,” “Wait for the downhill around the corner,” “Watch your footing on the turn.” Strangers continued to coach me through the paces.

At Mile 22, one man stood in his front yard spraying down participants with his garden hose to fight the heat. It was pure salve for my burning muscles. I relied on every single one of these family members, friends, and complete strangers to make it to the finish line. I needed them exactly where they were, each with their one piece of the puzzle. And I needed to trust God that He would continue providing them if I had the will to keep running.

I crossed the finish line in a surreal combination of pain, tears, success, and awe. God didn’t want me to fail at my goal; rather, He wanted to show me what we could accomplish together.

Click to tweet:
God didn’t want me to fail at my goal; rather, He wanted to show me what we could accomplish together. #CatholicMom

While we value independence in our modern society, I am certainly thankful that God values our dependency. The problem with a well-meaning, can-do attitude is that it leads to us giving up quite a bit. We ultimately fail on our own, and kingdom work remains undone. We achieve in the short term, and then burn out before our potential is ever reached. God is not telling us to take it easy or that we are incapable. In fact, He very often asks difficult things of us. What He never asks is for us to go it alone.

Repeating a phrase from the apostles, we must learn to say, “At your command, I will.” We are not called to abandon the hard, but to suffer well with Christ, who will continue to show us His victory over death in the miracles we allow. God sent himself as partner, in work, motherhood, marriage, and life. Together, may we work towards the goals He places on our hearts, and ultimately for the glimpses of the Kingdom that could exist in this world when we choose to walk in step with Him.

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