Same Advice, Different Season

Sarah Reinhard finds herself giving advice to a family member that reminds her of her own obligation to the works of mercy.

A dear family member has been going through a very rough time, and I found myself, on my drive to work, talking to her. 

This is a woman who has never hesitated to help me over the years, who has shown up every. Single. Time. I have needed help, support, or cookies. 

It’s natural, then, that I feel like it’s not the worst thing to call her on my way to work and offer words of encouragement as she faces what I’m sure she considers the biggest challenge of her life. 

Seasons, Schmeasons 

Back in the day of little kids in my care and in my hair all the time, I internalized advice that, while excellent, I thought had served its purpose. 

Until I heard myself sharing it with this woman who is facing widowhood. 

Life can easily be go, go, go. (Oh, don’t we all know that?)  

It’s so natural to be busy, to keep our minds occupied with the many tasks at hand. 

And yet … 

There is a call to stillness and self-care that isn’t just an excuse to not do the dishes tonight.  

“It’s OK to go to bed and not stay up until he does,” I advised her. “You can take care of yourself. In fact, you have to. How else are you going to take care of him?” 

In her voice, I heard an echo of the same panic I remember having in my own voice, many moons ago, when a sick kid wouldn’t (couldn’t) sleep and the baby was just fine and I was overwhelmed with all the things. 

She was tired. She was mentally exhausted. She just needed a nap. And a kind word. And probably a hug. 

After that call, as I pulled into work, I reflected the times I was told to sleep when the baby sleeps. While the core advice was hit or miss in my situation, the spirit behind it — take care of yourself, get some rest, be ready for the marathon and not the sprint — held true. 

It holds true for other caregivers, too. 

Praying With Your Time 

“I just can’t finish my rosary,” she explained during a different call. “I feel so badly.” 

“Have you ever thought of how your caring for him is a prayer in action?” I asked.  

Turns out, she hadn’t, and my inner catechist lit up. She has been praying in action for decades, but it hasn’t been until now, as she traverses end-of-life issues in her own home, that she is appreciating what that means. 

The works of mercy — corporeal and spiritual — aren’t just a nice idea, a thing for the Confirmation kids to memorize, a writing topic. They are paving the highway to heaven, and as I watch this woman, who has inspired my own faith so integrally over the decades, wrestle with a new kind of faith burden, I had my own realization: Calling her, uplifting her with “therapy questions,” taking a few moments to stop over and help her — these are my own prayers in action. 

The tears I try to hide, the moments I feel the hopeless feeling of not being able to do more, the ways I creatively bring smiles — these are the right now versions of sleeping when the baby sleeps. 

In your own journey through this adventure called life, keep your eyes and ears open. That advice that didn’t work in the earlier season may well be just what you need for this season. 

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Copyright 2025 Sarah Reinhard
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