Sanctifying Siblings

Holly Dodd explains how sibling relationships train children for Christian life.

I have a lot of children. In God’s great generosity, and His propensity to use all things for good for the individual good of each of us, I know that this quantity of children is high to sanctify me. God didn’t give me one, or two, or three children; He gave me nine. They are wonderful, and they also fight with one another. They work together, and they also argue. Together they find creative solutions, and sometimes they work together to create bigger problems. They lift each other up, and they put one another down. They love one another immensely. 

The older my children get, the more I cherish the priceless relationships they have with one another. But I’m realizing the benefits of these relationships with one another extends beyond our family. Living with and loving one another through good times and challenges has taught my children to have relationships with others in society. Life within our family has prepared them to be active members of our greater community.

Siblings Offer Built-in Friendships 

Many people have written about the many benefits of a large family, and I see these benefits play out in my own family. Siblings must learn to share their things — and sometimes their spaces. They learn to care for one another. They have built-in playdates and friendships. They have no excuse to be bored. They must learn patience and forgiveness. 

Furthermore, I have found that my children have safety in numbers with their siblings. I’m more comfortable sending two teens together to an event than I would ever be sending one solo. As Jennifer Dunlap shared in her 2021 Catholic Mom article, The Blessing of Siblings, a sibling is someone who has your back. Even my kids who bicker the most will defend one another in public. 

A child who grows up with siblings knows a bit about navigating conflict. A child whose anger or sadness is easily triggered can be supported to find tools to work through those emotions now and develop coping tools to face the inevitable conflicts of adult life. 

A boy who grows up with sisters understands more about the everyday differences between women and men. Of course, all girls are different, but a boy who has experienced life with a sister has the potential to better understand the needs of his future wife. A girl who grows up with brothers has a similar experience.

Unconditional Love Modeled in the Home 

The relationships of siblings (and their parents too) help children learn unconditional love. This is critical to friendships and the understanding of the dignity of the human person. Having a lived experience of unconditional love sets the stage for an outpouring of unconditional love to a future spouse, to a friend, or even to a homeless person on a street corner. This helps us all come closer to understanding the truly unconditional love of God. 

Children who grow up with siblings are growing up within the community of a domestic church. This time in the domestic church is training for life as an adult in the greater Church community, in which we are all brothers and sisters in Christ. Loving a Christian brother or sister comes more easily if we have felt the love of a sibling, just as understanding God as our father and Mary as our mother is easier if we have loving mothers and fathers in our lives.

Siblings Sanctify One Another 

Brothers and sisters can also help one another get to heaven. Think of Andrew bringing Simon Peter to see Jesus, or Saint Scholastica praying with Saint Benedict.

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Copyright 2026 Holly Dodd
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