Signs of Silence

Sherry Hayes-Peirce recaps a recent retreat experience, encouraging Catholics to make time for spiritual refreshment on a regular basis.

Ever since my husband died three years ago last month, I started attending a four-day silent retreat in April. It helps me to really slow down and withdraw from the world just for a few days. It has become my attempt to take a deep dive into spiritual self-care on my grief journey.

The retreat experience that I have chosen is based in Ignatian Spirituality and is presented by Jesuit priests at their novitiate house. The priests in formation leave the residence for spring break, and we move into their rooms. Being in a space with bare walls decorated with many spiritual books, no television, communal bathrooms, and dining hall really helps me to retreat from the world. A rhythm of meals, talks, prayer, guided meditation and spiritual direction and practices fill the time there.

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At every meal, the place setting includes a quote and every place I chose to sit the message was about prayer. The one that really resonated with me was a reminder that God yearns for me to be present with him in prayer.

Simply show up in prayer; God is already waiting. (Anonymous)

As part of my time there I always bring spiritual books to read. One of the books I packed to read was No Regrets by Allen Hunt and Matthew Kelly, which I started reading in January. My room had a rocking chair that was perfect for me to read from, but I also found myself resting my body on the couches in the great room.

My second day on retreat happened to be First Friday and within the Easter Octave and in alignment with my practice of attending Mass to pray the Sacred Heart novena, so it was my hope to really hear God speak to me in the silence of this day especially. There were a number of things going on in my life that I needed answers to the question of what the Lord was calling me to do with my life. The morning prayer attributed to St. Francis de Sales very clearly was God speaking to me:

Let God do his part. Be patient … Our role is to be ready, to receive God’s gifts with an open heart—carefully, humbly and serenely.

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The adage “Timing is everything” was so true for me as the answers came through the pages in the books I read during my time there. When I picked up the story in No Regrets, the lead character was on her first silent retreat. The people and places that emerged during meditation, the words of the spiritual director, my confessor, Adoration, and even texts from those who were praying for me were signs that this was God’s perfect time for me to be with Him.

Being on retreat certainly allows us to be reminded of Jesus’ love for us. One of our final activities was to write a letter to ourselves from the point of view of someone we loved, a saint, or someone who could encourage me to continue to do things that would grow my relationship with Jesus. I chose St. Monica, patron of widows and perseverance in prayer, and the words that poured out were so amazing! I was inspired to tell myself in the letter to be silent in my car each morning on my commute to work and to ask the Lord to send me three things to focus on each day. The letter will be mailed to me to be received six months from the last day of the retreat.

So far, drawing myself into the silence of my 15-minute commute has extended my retreat, much like the 50 days of Easter draws us into a season of immense joy!

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For four days, a feeling of being in the lap of Jesus being hugged, tickled, consoled by Him wiping my tears and helping me to know how beloved I truly am to Him, was such a gift. I know many of you reading this may not have the flexibility to retreat for four days, but even a single day could be restorative. There are many retreat houses that offer day-long or weekend retreats that can help you explore the gift of silence and soothe your soul in these tumultuous times in our world.

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