Steps Toward Holiness, Even in Drought

In the middle of a difficult season, Tami Urcia learned that God was giving her an opportunity for spiritual growth.

A drought hit Michigan early this year, bringing its climate straight from snow to squelching heat. No April showers to bring May flowers this year. No sprinkles to coax the seeds to sprout forth from the earth. The only thing that seemed to grow were the weeds. Tall, relentless, and ugly, their roots reaching deep into the soil.

Unexpectedly unemployed during this season, I seemed to develop an obsession of sorts for pulling weeds. My shoulder even began to ache from the daily exertion. I would pace the yard back and forth, back and forth, searching for the telltale heads of the unwanted plants. It seemed that the more I pulled, the more came up. There appeared to be no end to the unpleasant task.

At the same time, God was weeding my interior as well. With more time for prayer, Mass, and Adoration, the quiet enveloped me and offered a mirror into my soul. There were so many things that I had shoved under the rug, choosing to ignore rather than address. Busyness was my excuse. As a full-time employee and a homeschooling mother of five littles, I simply had no time for self-examination. Well, as He tends to do, God took care of that.

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With my means of survival stripped away from me and my nine-to-five no longer an obstacle, I almost had no choice but to draw near to the life-giving water. I hadn’t even realized my soul was in the midst of a drought as well. Sure, I prayed every day and went to Sunday Mass, but there was no depth. I was only going through the motions. God wanted more for me. Although many are allowed to go through a period of spiritual dryness, it is not meant to be self-inflicted.

Yet during this time I also learned that growing closer to God and making steps toward holiness have nothing to do with making a long and dramatic list of our many shortcomings and attempting to eliminate them one by one. While we may realize some of our shortcomings and desire to change them, it is God who purifies and refines. And more importantly, that is not what God is looking for. It is not God’s deepest desire. He knows we’re not perfect. He knows we’re human. After all, he took on our humanity and understands us well.

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Growing closer to God and making steps toward holiness have nothing to do with making a list of our many shortcomings and attempting to eliminate them one by one. #CatholicMom

No, what God is looking for is something so much simpler that we might even miss it if we aren’t paying attention. The only thing he wants is me. He so greatly desires each and every one of us that He never gives up on us and will pursue us until the day we die.

That is what this life is truly all about. It’s about living. Living in the warmth of His embrace and the purity of His loving gaze.

So what I initially wouldn’t wish on anyone, I now wish for each of you, dear Mommas. May God take you on a journey of love that doesn’t end until you see Him face to face.

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