Teaching Children Politeness: A Reflection for Catholic Parents

Anne DeSantis discusses the power of modeling and prayer for parents working to instill good manners in their children.

In today’s fast-paced world, politeness can sometimes feel like a lost virtue. As Catholics, we are called to be kind, hospitable, and respectful in both word and action. While some may argue that Jesus was not always conventionally “polite,” He consistently demonstrated love, patience, and deep respect for others. Teaching our children to embody these qualities through good manners is a beautiful way to reflect God’s love in the world. 

How Do We Teach Children to Be Polite? 

Instilling good manners in children is essential in shaping their interactions with others. Whether at the dinner table, in conversation, or in everyday life, politeness is a cornerstone of positive relationships. Teaching children to say “please” and “thank you,” listen attentively, and show respect for their elders helps lay a strong foundation for their social and spiritual development. When we raise children to be courteous and kind, we are nurturing virtues that will serve them well throughout their lives. 

The Lasting Effects of Politeness 

The lessons of politeness extend far beyond childhood. When children learn to be respectful at an early age, these habits follow them into their teenage years and adulthood. Simple practices — such as addressing adults as “Mr.” or “Mrs.” and showing gratitude — help cultivate a spirit of humility and reverence. As parents, we can remind our children that honoring our father and mother, as well as treating all people with respect, aligns with God’s commandment to love our neighbors as ourselves. These lessons shape their character and strengthen their relationship with God and others. 

The Power of Modeling 

Children learn best by example. When they see us treating others with kindness and patience, they are more likely to do the same. On the other hand, if they witness impatience, rudeness, or dismissiveness, they will likely mirror those behaviors. It is crucial that we not only instruct them in politeness but also model it in our daily interactions. Simple acts, such as holding the door open for someone, expressing gratitude, and speaking with gentleness can make a profound impact on our children’s understanding of respect and kindness. 

A Prayerful Approach 

As we guide our children in the ways of politeness and respect, we can turn to the Lord for wisdom and strength. Parenting is a sacred responsibility, and with God’s grace, we can raise children who reflect His love through their words and actions. Let us pray for the patience and perseverance to teach by example, fostering a culture of kindness in our families and beyond. 

May our efforts to instill politeness in our children serve as a witness to God’s goodness in the world. With His guidance, we can nurture hearts that are both respectful and full of love. 

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Copyright 2025 Anne DeSantis
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