The #1 Reason Smart Catholic Women Overeat

Denise Jelinek examines how our temptation to overeat is driven by our feelings, and shares four steps toward overcoming this temptation.

Overeating has nothing to do with lacking intelligence or willpower.

It's all about:

1. The ability to handle uncomfortable feelings (like sadness, fatigue, shame, etc.).
2. Remembering that discomfort is suffering, and therefore is a way to unite our suffering to Jesus’ on the cross.

So often we give our feelings an immense amount of power to control our behavior (for example, overeat to feel better), dictate our choices (we decide to go through the drive-thru on our way home from work), and justify why we do what we know isn’t best for us (order the cheeseburger and fries when we planned to order the chicken breast).

Let’s look at the truth about feelings.

Feelings are feelings. They only have as much power as our brain wants to give them.   

Feelings come and go often, like waves, or they may be more persistent, like grief.

Feelings originate from our thoughts. Our “first thought” can often be automatic until we’ve trained ourselves to think differently. However, we can have control over our “second thoughts,” the ones that come after our first automatic thoughts. Since we can have control over these thoughts, we can control our feelings that come from them, rather than being controlled by them. It is important to note, however, we have control over the feelings that originate from the stories we tell ourselves or assumptions we make, not the massive feelings, like grief.

Here’s an example: My husband comes home, walks in the bedroom which is near my office. The bed isn’t made–please, no judgment. I hear him say, “What have you done all day?”

My body has a stress response and my first thought is “What a jerk!” This leads to a very uncomfortable feeling of being “shamed” and I am about to retaliate with a laundry list of what I have done (to gain his acceptance), when I recognize I need to calm myself. This is key.  

I breathe through this uncomfortable feeling. Then, I process the truth, which is: he only said words. I am safe. I think “The bed hasn’t been made the past two days and he didn’t say anything about it. This has nothing to do with me.” That is the truth from the Holy Spirit!

“This has nothing to do with me” is a thought that comes from a calm place and allows my body to relax, producing the feeling of detachment, which is a totally unscary feeling. With that energy, I have erased the need to overeat and can allow him space to have his stress or negative feelings, and I do not take it personally, which could lead to emotional eating.

Feelings create sensations in our bodies that can feel uncomfortable and that our brains think are scary. Being uncomfortable is just a feeling that creates a stress response in the body. No issue there. However, most of us have been conditioned to want to get away from that feeling, instead of getting curious about it.

Many women find the easiest and fastest way to do that is with food, which we keep doing, because it works–really well!

However, feelings can’t hurt us. Not even a little. Also, they’re actually a path to grow closer to Christ. How?

Christ is your God, not food. When we allow our feelings to be present and accept them (you don’t have to like them), you are allowing Christ in as your comforter, your consoler. This is His job. A donut can’t take His place.

Uniting to Jesus on the Cross. This is also a time where you can take your emotional pain and physical discomfort and truly unite it to Jesus on the cross. This, dear sister, is exactly why I say our lives can be a living prayer: every choice we make in a day can draw us closer to Christ in a very real way!

Feelings are information. Once you allow feelings to be in your body, feel them, get to know where you feel them (this is a whole exercise), you can learn from them. Ask yourself “What is this feeling telling me?” or “How is this suffering exactly perfect?” God only allows things our human brains can’t understand, like tragedy and suffering, because He can make them perfect.

So, dear sister, our feelings are part of our human-ness that God created perfectly in us.

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Four simple steps you can take when you find yourself wanting to overeat. #catholicmom

Here are four simple steps you can take when you find yourself wanting to overeat:

1. Recognize that some feelings are simply uncomfortable. You know you can endure some pretty wicked discomfort as a Catholic woman living in 2022. Remind your brain you are safe. Feelings can’t hurt you.
2. Next, calm yourself and unite the discomfort to Jesus on the cross, rather than stuff it down with food, which leads to so many more “uncomfortable” feelings: guilt, shame, remorse, self-loathing, etc.
3. Ask Jesus what He wants you to know from having this feeling.
4. Finally, see if you can detect the thought that created the feeling. With practice you can change those thoughts. It’s a matter of learning a new skill.

Copyright 2022 Denise Jelinek
Images: Canva