The Daily Heroic

Lorelei Savaryn reflects on marriage and motherhood through the lens of Saint Zélie Martin. 

I think about Saint Zélie Martin a lot. One thing that helps is the fact that we named our youngest daughter Zelie after her, so her name comes up multiple times a day. I admire Saint Zélie greatly, so it’s turned out to be a very good thing to have her so often called to mind. I admire her holy, loving marriage, the way she parented, and the fact that she owned her own profitable business. She also navigated chronic illness, which is something I relate to on a personal level as well. I love how she talks about life in an honest way. She understood the value of the work of family life — but she did not sugarcoat it. Life, for Saint Zélie, was not easy, but she finished the race well and has so much wisdom to offer. 

Am I Doing Enough? 

One of the constant struggles of my life has been a fear that I am somehow not enough — and not doing enough to matter. For years, I felt compelled to achieve things that the external world could see. For a long time, I pursued and attained many professional goals that were visible to the broader world. And yet, somehow, with each goal I achieved, my brain moved the target to the next, bigger thing — and my heart was never at rest. 

I’ve seen it in myself, in so many mom friends, and in the broader cultural conversation. We live in an age where many people broadcast their lives on social media in real time, but for many of us, much of the work of marriage and parenting is invisible to the broader world. And if no one can see it, we may be tempted to ask: Does what I’m doing matter? Is it enough? 

The Daily Heroic  

It is necessary that the heroic becomes daily and that the daily becomes heroic.

This quote is often attributed either to Saint Zélie Martin herself or to Saint John Paul II in reference to the Martin family. However, despite its popularity, a definitive original source has been difficult to trace. Still, the phrase does a wonderful job exemplifying the approach Zélie Martin took in her life and is a helpful reminder for the work we do each day. 

Because the seemingly small and simple tasks of marriage and parenting matter. They matter so very much. Every time we wipe a runny nose, or make a peanut butter sandwich, or talk with our kids about what’s on their heart, or give a hug to our husband after a long day — these little, daily things can and must be heroic. Being present with our families is truly heroic in an age of constant distraction. Choosing to live a life oriented around the vocation of family is heroic in a world that is increasingly bent toward isolation. We have been entrusted with helping the souls of our husband and children get to heaven. When I orient my heart rightly, I can’t think of a single thing on earth more heroic than that. 

But it is hard to let go of the desire for external validation — especially, perhaps, if we did not grow up with a good example of unconditional love. I can more than relate to that struggle. But there is so much wisdom in the idea of daily heroism, and it is something worth keeping close to our hearts when those questions arise. We hear the messages of the world all the time, and those messages are loud. They tell us to pursue our own happiness, whatever that means, and at any cost. Living the vocation of a Catholic family — a domestic church — goes against so much of what the broader culture tells us we should pursue.  

One of my favorite things about Catholicism is how it is filled with mystery and the unexpected. We are quietly cultivating future saints. And in a beautiful twist of fate, it turns out that all of the tiny, unseen acts of cultivation are among the most important of all.  

I think the only conclusion we can draw is that the world has confused its definition of heroism. Yes, some heroic acts are visible to many and are worthy of broad public acclaim. But most heroism is a smaller, quieter thing. We are heroic when we choose each day to help our family become a bit more like the people God created them with the potential to be. Saint Zélie’s example reminds us of this, and we would all do well to follow in her footsteps — and to lean into the heroic each and every day. 

Saint Zélie Martin, pray for us. 

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Copyright 2025 Lorelei Savaryn
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