The Epidemic of Porn in Marriages

Elaine Sinnott shares a message of hope and steps married couples can take if they struggle with pornography.

You are NOT alone

You think you’re the only one dealing with it. The only marriage suffering from this evil. You see all these “happy couples” around you and try to play the “happy couple,” too. But inside, your heart is completely breaking. Few things are more devastating to the heart than faking happiness.

It’s taboo and no one dares talk about it.

It’s embarrassing and awkward.

It’s painful.

It shatters trust.

Until you decide to be vulnerable and open up and realize it’s everywhere!

Emphasis on E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E.

The epidemic among marriages

Porn consumption is a true epidemic among marriages and among men alone. Boys are exposed at young ages, the average age being just eight years old. That’s terrifying, as my oldest son is only eight. And I have three more boys following behind him, ages 6, 6, and 4.

It’s considered “no big deal” in modern society, even encouraged and considered normal and healthy to view it.

Yet no one talks about how it really affects them. And how it ACTUALLY affects marriages. The truth is hidden.

WHAT can we do?

What can we do about this spiritual epidemic in our own homes if we’ve been hit by it?

1. PRAY THE ROSARY for your husband! Ask the Blessed Mother for her intercession for healing and protection of your husband every single day, and for the healing and protection of your marriage.
2. Set up Covenant Eyes on all devices to protect your husband, your sons, and even your daughters. This provides accountability and blocks out sites to protect them.
3. Teach your children, especially your sons, how to handle it before they are exposed. How? There are incredible resources out there! I personally use the books Good Pictures, Bad Pictures and Good Pictures, Bad Pictures Jr. by Kristen Jenson. These books gently talk about pornography in age-appropriate ways and give them step-by-step instructions on what to do when they are exposed. Think of it as a STOP, DROP, and ROLL for pornography. Unfortunately, it is a matter of when they are exposed, not if. As parents we must step outside our comfort zone to prepare our children for this world. Kids are taught at young ages to stay away from drugs, so we must teach the next generation the truth about pornography to protect them from the destruction it causes.
4. Reach out to good friends you can trust and TALK to them. Don’t hold it in. Doing this will make you realize you are far from alone in your struggle in your marriage and will help the healing process.
5. Talk to a counselor as a couple. If you want healing to begin in your marriage, this is an important step for that healing to be able to take place.
6. Talk to a priest as a couple as well. The spiritual direction will be a tremendous help because this is a spiritual battle! Who better to talk to than someone who stands in place for Christ for us?
7. Read The Porn Myth by Matt Fradd, a devout Catholic who also struggled with a porn addiction himself. In this book it explains how men (and women) actually become addicted to porn. The brain reacts to it just as it reacts to a drug. It teaches you more about what you’re up against and how others have healed. This addiction also produces much shame! You can also view many healing stories from Matt Fradd’s organization Fight the New Drug on YouTube.

What can we do about this spiritual epidemic in our own homes if we’ve been hit by it? #catholicmom

To the wife dealing with pornography in her marriage:

You can be assured of my prayers for you, your husband, and your marriage. It’s painful, it’s devastating. You feel like you aren’t “good enough,” like there’s no way you can compete with those women on the screen.

Trust is completely broken. Will you ever trust again? Can you ever love him the same?

Praise be to God, HE RESTORES! He not only restores, He can strengthen! The road to healing is painful. There will be brokenness, tears, and suffering.

But God can bring the dead back to life.

Surrender your marriage totally to God because only He knows how to handle something so fragile.

He created it; He knows exactly how to recreate it.

I pray you become fired up to fight for your husband and for your marriage. I pray you are filled with hope and that forgiveness flows out of you and takes you completely by surprise.

Are you struggling with pornography in your marriage? I encourage you to take the steps above to begin walking on the path of healing, the path God absolutely wants for you! You are also welcome to contact me directly if you need someone to talk to.

Copyright 2021 Elaine Sinnott
Image: Jonas Leupe (2019), Unsplash