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A sudden summer storm offered Margaret Rose Realy, Obl. OSB, unexpected consolation during a dark season of life.


Over the past year and a half it seemed that if anything could go wrong, it did; the litany of unfortunate events is lengthy. I tried to maintain the mind set of "just take another step even if you don’t know what the next step is." But enough was enough and I wearied of maneuvering through so many unrelenting difficulties. Loss and sadness, accompanied by anxiety and anger, was taking its toll physically and emotionally—which added to the already mounting stress.

I began to wonder if the Lord was answering a rather dangerous prayer, originally shared by a priest, when I asked, “Increase in me Oh Lord my dependence on you.”

My interior storm was building strength, the depression and hopelessness was growing, and hopelessness can be a very risky frame of mind!

Recently there were storms brewing outdoors, big storms. I watched the radar images as the storms moved across Lake Michigan and headed for my county. The first round of storms was dark and treacherous with high winds and lightening that broke apart and downed several trees. Not far behind was the second front made up of several small broken storm cells.

When the second wave of storms finally arrived, it was the most glorious of storms I’d ever experienced!

There were sheets of rain twisting and shifting so that the leaves of trees and shrubs danced one way and then suddenly showed their underside, swinging up and back like a skirt in a dance.

The sound was rhythmic as distant thunder rolled and rain pattered against deep puddles and leaves.

And through all of that the sun shone bright through the rain, casting shadows, and creating millions of bitty prisms!

 

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I stood in the threshold of the back door for nearly twenty minutes with the screen door swung wide I was mesmerized watching God’s creation—sunshine and shadows, thunder and rain all together, all at once.

I felt on my face and arms the cooling mist from the rain AND the heat from the sun, listened to the soft sound of droplets as they splashed and heard the clap of nearby thunder. It was everything within the same breath.

As I stood there watching in amazement at God’s power and delicacy, everything internally aligned, and calm overtook my interior storm. The darkness of depression, sadness, hopelessness, and futility only moments before began to incorporate with the Light of Faith.

 

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God can shine through our interior storms in all ways all at once. #catholicmom

 

Watching the rainfall sparkle from the sunlight, I recalled the difference between hopelessness and futility. When hopeless we do not see any more steps; we are trapped at the end with nowhere to go. With futility we recognize we are at the end of knowing which way to go, but we take a step anyway. We step with faith, not knowing what comes next except another step.

And God can shine through our interior storms in all ways all at once.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

 

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Copyright 2022 Margaret Rose Realy, Obl. OSB
Images: copyright 2022 Margaret Rose Realy, Obl. OSB, all rights reserved.