The Key to True Joy

Maria Riley shares her formula for living life with true, abiding joy.

If you polled a room full of people and asked what they wanted most from this life, the vast majority would answer with some form of, “to be happy.” As Christians, we know that happiness is a fleeting emotion, and there is no such thing as perpetual happiness.

Joy, on the other hand, can be a lasting and enduring state of contentment. Father Mike Schmitz defined joy as the abiding and pervasive sense of well-being. True joy is something that is attainable because it’s not dependent on external circumstances; joy abides within us, regardless of what is happening in the world around us.

The answer, then, for a life abundantly full of joy is simple: rejoice through the suffering. If we experience joy during the times of blessings and we experience joy during the times of trial, our life will be full of joy. While this is a simple enough concept, I’ve yet to meet anyone for whom rejoicing through the suffering comes naturally. Like a full prayer life, we have to train ourselves to learn this skill. If you don’t know where to start, use the following steps to guide you to true, unfaltering joy.

Step 1: Stop complaining when things are good.

Nothing will kill your joy faster than complaining and focusing on the small negatives in your life when things are actually pretty good. The amazing thing about this phenomenon is that we are rarely even aware that we are doing it until we consciously ask the Holy Spirit to help draw these experiences to our minds. I’m not sure if it’s subconsciously seeking pity or just that the negative drama is more exciting to tell, but I constantly hear people complain or focus on the negative instead of rejoicing.

Like when you’re asked about your trip to Disney World and you respond, “It was great, but it was so hot and the lines were long!” Or when telling about your day at work you mention, “My day was fine, but can you believe that Sally didn’t get her report in on time? Now I have extra work.” When life actually is full of blessings, practice saying things instead like, “Disney World was amazing! The best part was when we met Sleeping Beauty,” or “Work was good today, I accomplished my tasks and my boss complimented my work.” Just this small tweak in our language can transform our attitudes and grow our inner joy.

Step 2: Find the blessings when things are hard.

Sometimes in life, experiences are difficult. During these times, it’s especially important to remember that we can control what we choose to think about. While it may be hard in some circumstances, it’s essential to focus on the blessings and not the hardships in order to nurture your inner peace.

If you’ve been in a car wreck, thank God that no one was seriously injured and find gratitude that you have car insurance. If a loved one has been diagnosed with cancer, focus on the love and support you are receiving from others. Thank God for the blessing of that loved one in your life. Appreciate the dedicated oncology personnel who are caring for your loved one. Even though our minds will naturally drift back to the negatives, every time, choose to focus on the blessings. No matter how dire the situation is, God’s mercy and blessings can always be found if you seek them.

Step 3: Rejoice for being chosen to suffer.

Once you have mastered not complaining when life is actually great and focusing on the blessings during challenging times, it’s time to rejoice in the suffering. As you are given a cross from God, love your cross because God has chosen you to endure this suffering. Offer it up for the redemption of the world. It’s such a gift that you are able to share in Christ’s suffering and contribute a tiny amount toward God’s redeeming plan.

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I try to rejoice in being found worthy to suffer for my Lord. #CatholicMom

The apostles in the early Church teach us how to do this. They had been detained and whipped, and ordered to stop teaching in the name of Jesus, but they were undeterred.

So they left the presence of the Sanhedrin, rejoicing that they had been found worthy to suffer dishonor for the sake of the name. (Acts 5:41)

I try to rejoice in being found worthy to suffer for my Lord. I pray that you can too!

Copyright 2023 Maria Riley
Images: Canva