The Lies of Depression, the Courage of Hope

When Jen Scheuermann decided to start praying with her husband, she discovered the true source of her courage. 

I walked into the den and paused as I took sight of my husband. I didn’t know how long he’d been lying in the dark room, but the absence of television viewing or phone scrolling hinted at what I’d suspected for weeks: The deep waters of depression were once again pulling him under. I’d love to tell you my immediate response in this situation was one of compassion, but I’d be lying.   

Don’t misunderstand: I always put on my compassionate face and my heart does come around. But if I’m honest, my first emotion is often anger — not at my husband. Rather, anger that we’re traveling this road once again.  

Quietly swallowing my frustration while tossing up a prayer for help, I went to him. His words were few, but his flattened expression and emotionless voice confirmed my suspicion. I knelt beside him and took his hand, and in that moment I knew it was time: time to do something my heart has ached to do for years. Time to do something I believe without doubt will help. And time to do something I’ve so far been too scared to do. 

It was time to pray. Out loud. With my husband. 

We were Catholic, but in name only. 

My husband and I were both born into the Catholic faith. And though I can’t speak for the position of his heart, I can tell you that mine was far from God for most of my life. For the first 15 years of our life together, our faith life consisted of little more than checking boxes when it was convenient.

But at some point, the pieces of my life crumbled, and as He is known to do, Jesus met me in the middle of my mess. And as I discovered His love for me, everything changed: my interests, my priorities, my outlook on life, my view of self and others, and my heart.  

I should emphasize that these changes occurred in me, but only me. Despite a deep desire for my husband to know Jesus and invitations for him to join me, he has expressed no interest. In fact, on some days it even feels that my faith life has become a divide between us, as the closer I get to Jesus, the more resistant my husband becomes.  

The lies of depression

Despite practicing medicine for nearly 25 years, I’ve learned more about depression from my husband than I ever have from a textbook or lecture or even my patients. I simply don’t think one who is not struggling with depression themselves — or closely caring for one who does — can fathom the level of self-loathing and despair that accompany this diagnosis. It is heartbreaking to witness, especially in someone you love.  

Yes, clinical depression is a real diagnosis requiring both medical and mental health care. But I believe with everything in me that coming to know the Father, experiencing the immensity of His love, and receiving your true identity as His beloved child can only help in the battle against depression’s lies. 

Have hope. Take courage. 

I heard my husband’s alarm beeping down the hall and knew, despite my nerves, that it was time for me to act. On a practical level, my husband was less likely to walk off if still in bed. On a spiritual level, this was the first time my heart was not focused on what I knew my husband needed, but instead on my desire to pray with him. Plus, I’d finally accepted that God is only asking me to do my part. Any change in my husband’s heart will occur because of God and God alone, and it will happen on His timeline.  

I’ve heard it said that it takes courage to hope; after all, if one dares to hope there is a chance they’ll be let down. But perhaps this is only true when we place our hope in our circumstances, because that morning I discovered the reverse: It took hope to bring about my courage. For only after I placed my hope in the Lord, acknowledging that He was responsible for the outcome and not me, did the fear I’d previously experienced each time I wanted to pray with my husband evaporate. 

If you’re feeling scared, perhaps it is a good time to evaluate where you’ve placed your hope. Turn to the Lord. Place your hope in Him. And let Him fill you with courage.  

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Copyright 2025 Jennifer Scheuermann
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