The Wedding Cleaner

Elena LaVictoire ponders the request of a well-meaning bride from the perspective of four decades of marriage.

For the past 20 years or so, I have been one of the wedding coordinators at my church. For several of the weddings at our parish each year, I am the go-to person for the bride and groom when it comes to navigating their wedding ceremony. My main responsibility though, is to get the bride successfully down the aisle on time.

A while back, one of my brides had an unusual request. After all of the 200 guests had entered the church, and her parents, the six bridesmaids, flower girl, and maid of honor walked down the same aisle towards the altar, she wanted me to quickly but efficiently Swiffer-mop the marble flooring so that her wedding dress remained pristine after she took the 150-foot trip to the altar and her groom.

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I briefly pondered that idea. I’m assuming that the organist would pre-empt the Canon in D with some catchy cleaning Muzak while I accomplished this task before opening all the stops for Trumpet Voluntary and the bride’s entrance. If I did this, should I don an apron and rubber gloves? Decorate the mop with white ribbons? And could I Swiffer the entire mop in under 30 seconds? I’d have to schedule some practice runs!

In the end, I politely declined and told her there wouldn’t be any time for me, or anyone else, to scrub down the aisle before her entrance. Eventually, although reluctantly, she let the idea go.

But I think her request was more emblematic of something else. Her life was going to completely change after she went down that aisle. She wanted to preserve and protect a little bit of what she was before. In a way she was saving the bride before she became the wife.

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But that’s the thing about getting married and being married: it changes you.

Married life isn’t coordinated dresses, white satin, and lovely flowers. Often, it’s mundane and ordinary. Sometimes it’s even sad. Sometimes it’s hard. But interspersed in there are little celebrations and little joys. Day after day, the messiness of life turns into a long and successful marriage with a loving spouse, friends, family, children, and memories.

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With the perspective I have, I can appreciate what that dark hemline holds: the memories of a special day, with special people, celebrating a love that has lasted for decades. #catholicmom

This month is my 43rd wedding anniversary—the Opal Anniversary. After that incident, I took a look at my own wedding dress. It’s true that the hem is a little bit dingy. Careful dry cleaning back then didn’t completely erase the street dust left by my beloved wedding guests who cared enough to come and be with us that day. And I’m sure there are plenty of residual dirt particles from the merry-makers at our reception who danced and celebrated with us.

With the perspective I have, I can appreciate what that dark hemline holds: the memories of a special day, with special people, celebrating a love that has lasted for decades. I hope someday all of my brides can come to a similar revelation.

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