Turning Points in Parenthood

As her youngest child becomes a teenager, Michelle Hamel contemplates what Mary must have experienced as Jesus grew to adulthood.

My youngest officially entered into the teenage years in December. I've experienced seven other children enter the teenage years and lived to tell about it! And while each experiences has been different, I have to say that this time I've noticed that the popular slang seems much more prevalent. (And confusing!)

There's just so much of it! I feel like slang in the more recent past was a few words here or there. But sometimes it feels like Generation Z is creating a whole new language! And while occasionally it's fun to tease my two teenagers by using their slang poorly, most of the time it just leaves me shaking my head!!

My daughter kindly created this slang "cheat sheet" for me:

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Challenging seasons

The pre-teen and teenage years can be overwhelming for parents. Even Mary and Joseph had a moment during Jesus' adolescence that brought them pain and confusion.

Each year his parents went to Jerusalem for the feast of Passover, and when he was twelve years old, they went up according to festival custom. After they had completed its days, as they were returning, the boy Jesus remained behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know it. Thinking that he was in the caravan, they journeyed for a day and looked for him among their relatives and acquaintances, but not finding him, they returned to Jerusalem to look for him.

After three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions, and all who heard him were astounded at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him, they were astonished, and his mother said to him, "Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety." And he said to them, "Why were you looking for ? Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?" But they did not understand what he said to them. He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them; and his mother kept all these things in her heart. And Jesus advanced in wisdom and age favor before God and man. (Luke 2:41-52)

The Finding in the Temple is the Fifth Joyful Mystery of the Rosary. But this event is also the Third Sorrow of Mary, Losing the Child Jesus in the Temple. And if there's anything that defines the teenage years, it's a mix of joy and sorrow.

I've been thinking about Mary's Third Sorrow quite a bit in the last couple of months. The trip to the temple that year marked a turning point in Mary's mothering and in her relationship with her Son. Mary obviously wasn't expecting Jesus to stay behind in Jerusalem. Mary and Joseph looked for Jesus with "great anxiety." Even Jesus' answer to them wasn't what they expected. Mary and Joseph were being grown and stretched by Jesus’ growth and change. Though He returned home with them, something was different.

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The loss of Jesus in the temple reminded Mary and Joseph of the reality of Jesus' mission. And while Mary knew how to live perfectly in the present moment loving and caring for her Son, the sorrow of knowing that Jesus' mission would eventually lead to her losing His constant physical presence and bring her closer to Simeon's prophecy of a sword piercing her heart (Luke 2:35) was also present.

Our hearts, like Mary's, are pierced

That happens to us too. Our relationship with our preteen and teenage children shifts along with their growth spurts and hormones. Sometimes it feels that our sweet, loving children turn into teenagers overnight. Frequent snuggles, reading books together, and them wanting to be in our presence with our full attention that had been the reality of our everyday life for years now becomes a rare occurrence. Our child's reaction to us starts to change, and it isn't what we have come to expect. As parents, we are grown and stretched by our children's growth and change.

And Mary shows us how to work through that. Mary shows us how to ponder changes and difficult moments by prayerfully reflecting instead of reacting. Through joys and sorrows, Mary shows us how to accept God's Will in her life even when it's unexpected and difficult. She teaches us how to surrender each situation to God and to trust in Him all while keeping her heart open to the unknown. Mary lived each moment fully alive.

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