Weary Military Wives and Moms: Look to Mary

Dr. Laura Dimler Radziwon shares the lessons she’s learned about leaning on Mother Mary as a military wife. 

Sometimes the image of Mary can seem impossible to live up to as a wife and a mother. She is the mother of the Savior of the world and the Immaculate Conception, after all! But every so often I am reminded that she was also a human mother to a human child who had very human toddler tantrums (or so I’d like to think when I am in the thick of dealing with one, myself!). Couple that with the fact that she had to move while 9 months pregnant and faced unique challenges that were not a part of the ordinary marriages at the time, I realized that I can and should rely on her not only for support as a mother and a wife, but even as a military wife.  

I have spent the last five years as a military wife. In that time, we have moved two times, endured three deployments, and had three children. I have done the majority of life without my husband home. This has, without a doubt, been hard. It has been hard on our marriage, hard on my mental health, hard for our oldest child to watch his dad leave, and hard to find a new support system each time we move.

But when I feel despondent and weary, I imagine how Mary would handle this. Mary was and is the epitome of grace, humility, obedience to the Lord’s will, pious, holy, and strong. She knew her worth came from being chosen by God to be the mother of the Most High (Luke 1:32) and continually said "yes" to His will—sometimes quietly and sometimes loudly. 

Mary had to uproot her life and move, even when she didn’t know what the outcome would be. Military wives do too.  

Mary had to give birth without any family around. Military wives do too.  

Mary watched as her son was taken to follow God’s will for His life. Mothers of servicemembers do too.  

Mary was left to be a widow after Joseph passed away, likely feeling lonely in her grief. Gold Star wives do too.  

Mary watched as her Son died because of God’s calling for His life, likely feeling confused, betrayed, and dejected. Gold Star mothers do too.  

Mary and Joseph were, without warning, in a position where they had to trust in the Lord and each other immensely along their journey in marriage. She had to trust God that His plan for her to raise the Messiah, watch his ministry unfold, and bear witness to the crucifixion of her Son was good.  

Despite all this, Mary persevered and trusted in the Lord. Although she experienced times of extreme sorrow and despair, she always knew the Lord would keep His promise that everything was made for a purpose (Proverbs 16:4). Mary was able to see the beauty of God’s will in each moment, always conversing with the Lord to know His Will and put it into action. 

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Just as Mary said a continual "yes" to the struggles in her life, we too can say "yes" daily on this unpredictable and ever-changing military spouse journey. #CatholicMom

Military wives and mothers, God has called you to be the wife or mother of a servicemember. Just as Mary said a continual "yes" to the struggles in her life that were due to God’s calling in her life, we too can say "yes" daily on this unpredictable and ever-changing military spouse journey.  

We see how Mary chose to carry herself in grace and trust in the Lord in the daily sacrifices of marriage and motherhood. She chose to make room for new life to grow and prosper and to trust in God’s will for her life. Sisters, on the hard days when we haven’t seen our husbands for long stretches of time, are surprised with the news of another deployment or move, and are weary with juggling work, housework, and childrearing while feeling alone, let us remember that Mary had similar struggles. Let us remember that we can lean on Mary to lead us closer to her Son.  

Mary, Mother of God and mother of all mothers, pray for us that we can have blind trust in God’s will for our lives and have the wisdom to see all things with the eyes of Christ and not with our own. 

Copyright 2023 Laura Radziwon
Images: Meister der Kahriye-Cami-Kirche in Istanbul, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons; By Jakob De Wit, Public Domain, Wikimedia Commons;