Wet Towels and Discernment

A miscommunication with her teenager led Nicole Berlucchi to ponder the times she hasn't asked God for the guidance she needs.

Right before bedtime last night I was looking for a roll of toilet paper to place on the empty holder in my boys’ bathroom. As I opened their cabinet, I found a pile of wet towels stuffed under the sink and the toilet paper adjacent to said towels had grown in size and the layers of tissue had become welded together. I immediately brought the towels down to my sons and asked who stuffed a bunch of wet towels under the sink in the bathroom and ruined all of the toilet paper stored under their sink.

My older son admitted to doing it, but unapologetically returned, “But you said 'don’t put wet towels in our laundry basket.'”

He was right. I had said that, but I certainly hadn’t met stuff them under your sink until they dry (which they probably wouldn’t have) … never mind the hooks in the bathroom where wet towels should hang … never mind bringing them to the laundry room and hanging them over the drying rack or edge of the washing machine. I said as much to him and he was pretty upset about the misunderstanding, not really understanding why his following my directions had backfired on him.

When I woke up this morning, I had this exchange on my mind because my husband had shared that my son had been upset over being accused of doing something wrong when he was following directions. So, when he came down for breakfast, I gave my son a hug and said, "I know you were trying to listen to me and were trying to do the right thing." I told him next time to ask if I wasn’t clear. I told him I loved him and gave him a tight squeeze. He gave me a lopsided smile, maybe embarrassed by the attention, maybe still feeling unsure about the exchange.

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I have written about before, how so many hiccups with my kids, make me think about my relationship with God. How often has God given me direction on something—and I follow that direction, but somehow in the process I find myself in the wrong situation—too stressed, too distracted, too anxious, too in need of control. I realize OK, God is telling me “no” here, and so I try to divert my path, make changes because I felt God said so, but often, I still find myself in some other sticky situation—I’m saying yes to people-please, or I’m saying yes because no one else said yes. I don’t even have a real reason for why I ended up in this new situation, and I am saying to God: "I did what You told me to … why are You telling me 'wrong way' again?"

This morning’s exchange brought to light all those times I haven’t stopped to ask God for even a little direction after feeling like He’s given me a clear red flag. Like my son: in an ideal world he would’ve stopped and asked me, “Mom, if you don’t want the towels in my laundry basket—where should I put them?” I expect him to ask if he doesn’t know.

Click to tweet:
I remembered all those times I haven’t stopped to ask God for even a little direction after feeling like He’s given me a clear red flag. #CatholicMom

Why do I sometimes just take any next option as the clear option when I need to shift gears in life? Why don’t I always slow down and take a minute to ask God for a little more direction or clarity around where He is directing me instead of shoving my “wet towels” into some random place that looks good enough? Are we always going to get a straight answer? No, but we’ll get some direction. Even my son has some options regarding what he can do with the towels. I wasn’t specific, but I was more specific than telling him only what he cannot do. I expect this need for extra level of directions will change based on his maturity and life experience.

Such is life: there are basic decisions we can make based on previous direction from God, our formed consciences, and life experience. There will be other decisions where I need to pause and pray about it, making some space to realize the implications of my decisions. In critical cases, I might need to come back to God several times asking for direction or clarity over a big decision.

I trust that He will provide whatever measure of direction I need to get to exactly where I need to be at exactly the right time, and that if I misunderstand Him, He will be there with some nuggets of wisdom, pressing into my heart in prayer, in Scripture, or through a trusted friend’s advice to guide me to make the best decisions to serve and love Him and my neighbors well.

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