What Do Children Really Need?

Elizabeth Yank reflects on what children really need from their parents, observing that it’s much more than healthy food and clean clothes. 

I was intrigued by the title of an article in First Things, stating, “Kids Need the Classics.” How the author defines “the classics” or how he wishes to impart them, I don’t know. Inconsequentially, I personally embrace the idea of a classical education for children, especially as defined by Laura Berquist.  

The title, however, reminded me of a refrain from the Raffi children’s song, “All I Really Need” popularized by him a number of years ago, claiming, from a child’s point of view, what a child needs: 

The lyrics provoke the listener to consider, “What does a child really need?”  

As I pondered this, I was curious to see what the internet would have to say. Interestingly, AI gave a decent answer. It outlined a number of qualities. The top three were “love, safety and security.” It then goes on to detail these. Going down the list, I was impressed. It included more than the basic physical needs for a healthy body. It recognized the importance of the child’s emotional well-being and that each child is a unique individual.

Personally, I am not a fan of AI because I have observed that it just searches the internet and somehow determines the best answer. Who determines that? I don’t know. However, I don’t always agree with AI’s assessment. In this case, the answer wasn’t perfect — but it wasn’t far off the mark of reality.  

How Can I Meet the Needs of My Children? 

As a mom and now a grandma, I have often reflected on what a child needs. After all, time is precious and my tasks in a single day may seem overwhelming if not daunting at times, especially if I feel like taffy, pulled in multiple directions, trying to meet the needs of myself and my family, or dealing with the unexpected, pressing occurrences that pop up or just treading water because I am not feeling well.  

Is There Something More?

It is so easy to get caught up in the daily routine of getting dinner on the table and all the loads of laundry washed, folded, and stored away and a myriad of other seemingly mindless chores (but in reality, quite important tasks). Of course, I am doing it out of love for my family. But what do our children need? When the infant is hungry or needs a diaper change, he or she is more than willing to let us know. Yes, children need healthy food and clean clothes, but children are created in the image and likeness of God and each one is a unique soul, so just when I think I have figured out parenting, God throws me a curveball to keep me humble. 

What does a child need? The child is not just a body or a mind, but also a soul. The soul also requires care and keeping as much as the body and mind. Too often, “experts” focus on the health of the body or the ideal education of the mind, omitting the soul. The body, mind, and soul are integrated. The body needs care to thrive, and that care is more than just nutritious food. The mind is not just intellectual formation, but also the emotions that imprint memories in the mind.  

The proper formation of the soul includes more than just memorizing the Catechism, and that does not dismiss the importance of knowing the Faith. The pathway to the soul is not exclusively intellectual formation, but also how the information is imparted.  

What must we do if we wish our children’s souls to flourish? We don’t always know how to navigate life. The child’s soul very much resembles a seed, a seed that appears to have no life and is hard and dry. Yet when the seed is planted and cultivated and watered, it springs to life, the seed cracks open and the plant bursts forth and eventually blooms. What does the child need to open the seed of his or her soul?  

Our Heavenly Father Knows the Answer 

Our Heavenly Father knows the answer. As parents we have to be willing to open ourselves up to His desires, His grace, and His wisdom — not necessarily in that order. We are weak sinners blinded by our own desires and wishes. What does a child need? The love of the Heavenly Father manifested in our daily imperfect lives. Do we ask for this grace, this unimaginable love? 

We want to consider the whole child. We can’t meet all of his or her needs. Only our Heavenly Father can do that. But we can be the instruments to do our best, in our imperfect way, to seek to do what our Heavenly Father asks us to do to meet the needs of our children. Foremost, even in the most difficult moments, to love them. 

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Copyright 2025 Elizabeth Yank
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