Card-carrying Child of God by Maureen Locher

If my teenybopper memory serves, "When Jupiter aligns with Mars then peace will guide the planet." Mars must be playing hard-to-get with Jupiter today because many goofy things kept happening to me. I dropped papers repeatedly, miscounted money, and the food on my fork jumped off before connecting with my mouth, all before my morning hit noon. This did not bode well for the remaining hours. But onward I drove to my parents.

Weirdness there too. Not so much with me as with my mom. At 90, I’m accustomed to my mom forgetting more than she remembers, but she was remembering things that haven’t happened. Now that’s freaky.

Have you ever felt like you’ve hit an invisible brick wall? One minute you’re OK, but the next your energy’s zapped. Struggling deep down all afternoon long, wishing that my mom were the mom she always was, I worked at a snail’s pace. Finally all was accomplished.

Driving down the long plowed driveway toward home, all of a sudden my Jeep slid to the right as if dancing to a whole other song than the one I was playing. Nearer and nearer to the big ditch alongside the busy road my Jeep and I went.

I couldn’t believe it. The drive was plowed. I wasn’t even in 4-wheel drive. Hadn’t needed to be. Tried 4-wheel drive after the big slide. No go. Into lo. No go again. I tried to rock it. Wouldn’t budge. Tires spun. And there I sat stuck to my axles in the fluffy white stuff.

Who’s going to help me, as cars whizzed by? My 89- and 90-year-old parents? Or my family who’re an hour away? Gee, I think I’ll toss a coin! I was feeling more and more like little Ralphie in A Christmas Story when all the lug nuts went a-flying into the air, as I thought of Someone else. Actually, He and I had had a running commentary since the big slide began.

One last plea, feeling pretty darn alone, I said, "Please, God, get me out of here."

And He did. Just like that! God pushed my car out of the snow. More like lifted it out. I hit the gas and drove nice-as-nice-can-be toward the road, not the ditch. It felt as if I weren’t in snow. For all I know, maybe I wasn’t. Maybe I was riding on air.

What a rush! I talked to God, and He answered me right away. None of this, "I’ll get back to you when the time is right." The time WAS right. Jupiter aligned with Mars. How great is that? Better watch out, AAA. Looks like God’s moonlighting – cutting in on your action. Good thing I’m a card-carrying child of God! And no yearly fees to boot!


Copyright 2010 Maureen Locher