Silence Silence

Last week I wrote about the need for silence in my life specifically in regard to prayer and the spiritual life.  As I thought more about it I realized that I find this need almost startling because it has spilled over into other parts of my life.  I have taken the Myers Briggs Inventory a few times over the years and I am an extrovert, dare I say, an extreme extrovert, as in almost no checks in the introvert boxes.  Have I changed?  Not as best as I can tell.  But all week I have been pondering why I need quiet.  I think I have it figured out.

I need the quiet so I can talk to myself. This realization came to me when I became aware of the fact that I was not turning on the radio to listen to music on the way to work.  And when I did turn it on it annoyed me so I turned it off.  While silence is necessary in my spiritual life and as a spiritual practice, apparently I also need it in general.

As an extrovert, I am a talker.  My method of decision making, processing problems, creating new programs, or coming up with solutions is to talk things through, preferably with a live person.  Sometimes that cannot happen, so I talk to myself.  And through the talking things out in my head, I can come to some conclusion about whatever I am thinking about.

In the past, there have been a few close friends to bounce off whatever is in my head.  At work, there were many opportunities to work with others in planning and implementing events.  In this season of my life, there are fewer opportunities for these conversations and exchanges to take place.  It is not that I live in isolation; nothing could be further from the truth.  Often it feels like I live in perpetual motion, always anticipating the next thing which needs attention.

The quiet in my car is the time I spend processing my life.  God has found out it’s a good time to get my attention; often times it is when I learn the answer to prayer. If I go too long without this quiet space and time I am on edge and feel very overwhelmed.

As we continue our Lenten journey my prayer is that we all find out what fills us in this season of our lives so that we continue to move forward on our journey.

Copyright 2013 Deanna Baralini