Life According to My Plan

How many of us can say our life is turning out or has turned out the way we planned? A friend and I were briefly discussing this on the phone and she could come up with one person she knew; I couldn’t even think of one. I keep turning the question over in my mind; has my life turned out (to this point) as I had planned? The answer is yes and no.

Yes because I am happily married, a mom of two wonderful adults, a job which is truly my vocation, faith, great friends, nice home, good health, debt free and many more parts of my life which are full of joy.

Why does there need to be a “No” answer too? Well, because I wanted the path that I took to where I am now to be simpler and less fraught with trials and tribulations. I arrived here though, only by God’s grace. I tried for a very long time to get what I wanted my way and wound up frustrated, hurt, angry and confused. The “no” exists because often it is easier to see what I am missing than what I have. What am I missing? I suppose I could write my list, but I suspect we each have our own. In my conversation with my friend I said what I often say, “It’s about letting go.”

Do you ever wonder what could happen if you truly prayed, “Your will be done” with such faith and trust that you knew all your actions are part of God’s plan? I try to pray that way but in my humanity I keep saying, “Are You sure this is it?” Thomas Merton wrote a prayer that I have prayed and I think pretty much sums it up.

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

Faith and trust in God will lead us to be able to say our life has turned out the way we planned, because we planned it with Him.