--- title: Learning to let go description: Our children grow up and become adults who have to make real life decisions. It's an adjustment with each decision. --- [![catholic-mom-logo-v2](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/images/catholic-mom-logo-v2.svg "catholic-mom-logo-v2")](https://www.catholicmom.com/) [![facebook](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-facebook.svg)](http://www.facebook.com/CatholicMomCommunity) [![twitter](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-twitter.svg)](http://twitter.com/CatholicMomCom) [![instagram](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-instagram.svg)](http://instagram.com/catholicmomcommunity) [![youtube](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-youtube.svg)](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAuUqHCVPDzyMgSMaMZxxug?view_as=subscriber) [![search-icon](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/search-icon.svg)](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/2014/02/26/learning-to-let-go#) # Learning to let go Feb 26, 2014 9:30:38 AM  |  by [Deanna Bartalini](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/author/deanna-bartalini) I remember many, many years ago being a new mom.  I loved being a mom and our babies were very easy.  In fact, the family joke is that our first child was almost perfect, our second *was* perfect, and we were afraid what the third would be like. It's a joke, of course, but based in the truth of easy babies.  When number one hit three I wasn’t sure we’d both make it to four, but we did.  And time moved forward, quickly and for the most part trouble free. [![peter](https://www.catholicmom.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Imported_Blog_Media/peter1-400x400.jpg?width=400&height=400&name=peter1-400x400.jpg)](http://catholicmom.com/2014/02/26/learning-to-let-go/peter-3/) Now my children are adults and many days I would trade the experience for parenting adult children for a pair of three-year-olds in a heartbeat.  It’s not that they are difficult now, but that the decisions are so truly life decisions that have long term-effects on, well, their lives! They are faced with decisions their dad and I have to make.  Do I take this job or that?  Move to a new city or stay put?  Go back to school or hope I find a good job in a not so great market? It is humbling to see what you’ve taught your children about how to make life decisions.  Our hope is that they take the best skills from each parent, mix in what they’ve learned on their own, and you get to bask the glow of a job well done.  Some days yes; others, not so much. Our son shares many of my personality traits and recently he has decided to make some major life changes. I have spent weeks praying for him hoping that he would go slowly and make a few less changes at once.  But he is my son and so the bullet train is leaving the station any day now. I am reminded yet again that my word for this year is TRUST.  The decisions were not made without forethought and consultation of trustworthy individuals.  I have thought that if I were in his situation, I’d do the same thing. It means letting go again, some more, so he can follow his dream.  It means remembering that God is with him and that while my son may not physically be near me, I am still his “momma” and will keep him close in prayer. *Copyright 2014, Deanna Bartalini* ### Share this article [![Share on Facebook](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/facebook-24x24.png)](http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2F2014%2F02%2F26%2Flearning-to-let-go%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dfacebook) [![Share on Twitter](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/twitter-24x24.png)](https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?original_referer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2F2014%2F02%2F26%2Flearning-to-let-go%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dtwitter&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2F2014%2F02%2F26%2Flearning-to-let-go%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dtwitter&source=tweetbutton&text=Learning%20to%20let%20go) [![Share on Email](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/email-24x24.png)](mailto:?subject=Check%20out%20https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2F2014%2F02%2F26%2Flearning-to-let-go%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Demail%20&body=Check%20out%20https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2F2014%2F02%2F26%2Flearning-to-let-go%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Demail) ** #### About the Author ![Deanna Bartalini](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/Deanna%20Bartalini%202025-1.png) ### [Deanna Bartalini](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/author/deanna-bartalini) Deanna G. Bartalini, M.Ed., M.P.A. is a certified spiritual director, retreat leader, speaker, and writer with decades of experience serving the Church. She is the founder of [LiveNotLukewarm.com](https://LiveNotLukewarm.com), works on the retreat team at Our Lady of Florida Passionist Spiritual Center, and is an Unbound prayer minister. Deanna writes from her experiences of over 40 years of marriage, children and grandchildren. ## Related Blog Articles [ Letting Go Read ](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/2016/04/21/letting-go-4) [ A 6-Step Discernment Process Read ](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/2019/04/01/a-6-step-discernment-process/) [ Learn to Have Hope—No Matter What Read ](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/learn-to-have-hope-no-matter-what) ## Comments ## Donate now [![Support Catholic Mom](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/275132/10016573-1c5c-4aa5-baba-c2ac91fe7545.png)](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/275132/10016573-1c5c-4aa5-baba-c2ac91fe7545) [![CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c (002)](https://www.catholicmom.com/hs-fs/hubfs/CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c%20(002).png?width=1806&height=731&name=CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c%20(002).png "CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c (002)")](https://www.catholicmom.com/) ##### Subscribe to Catholic Momcast on iTunes or Spotify [![itunes-logo-black](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/logos/itunes-logo-black.svg)](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/catholic-momcast/id1362352357)[![spotify-logo-black](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/logos/spotify-logo-black.svg)](https://open.spotify.com/show/15CoipHL7z61IDcYErV0b8?si=hqaQJSxDQgq7S1hxCwsoxQ) ##### CatholicMom on Social Networks [![facebook](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-facebook.svg)](http://www.facebook.com/CatholicMomCommunity) [![twitter](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-twitter.svg)](http://twitter.com/CatholicMomCom) [![instagram](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-instagram.svg)](http://instagram.com/catholicmomcommunity) [![youtube](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-youtube.svg)](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAuUqHCVPDzyMgSMaMZxxug?view_as=subscriber) ##### About Catholic Mom [Who We Are](https://www.catholicmom.com/about-us) [Contact Us](https://www.catholicmom.com/contact) [Support CatholicMom.com](https://www.catholicmom.com/support-us)   ##### Associated Links [Holy Cross Family Ministries](https://www.hcfm.org/) [Family Rosary](https://www.familyrosary.org/) [Family Theater Productions](https://www.familytheater.org/) [Congregation of the Holy Cross](https://www.holycrossusa.org/) [Father Patrick Peyton, C.S.C.](https://www.fatherpeyton.org/) [The Peyton Institute for Domestic Church Life](https://www.peytonfamilyinstitute.org/) ### **Stay connected!** Don’t miss a thing! 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