

“Intuitively, I understood that I was in the presence of God. I didn’t simply think this, I knew this, beyond and before any question I’d ever had. I knew that God is. God is the most obvious thing there could possibly be. I also knew instantaneously that one human lifespan is but a blink within that reality, and yet this life that each person is given by God is profoundly important. What we do with it is critical, as if life were a test, but not one that we pass or fail, a test of who we are. . . The most profound part of my experience, by far, was knowing that God is Love. Never had I realized that I could be loved like that—with a love so perfect, so pure, so intense, so marvelous that nothing else mattered. . . I was in the presence of a love so intense that I didn’t care about anything else. . . There was no need for anything else. This Love was absolutely fulfilling in every way, a love that I had always looked for but never found, a love one would never want to be separated from. I was created to love and to be loved because God is Love. This fundamental truth is written into every human heart. Everyone knows what it feels like not to have that place fulfilled, and we will try and fill it with anything that even masquerades as love but isn’t. But there is a place in our hearts, a throne, really, that only this Love can fulfill. I never comprehended such a perfect love until I was immersed in it. In God’s presence, I wanted only to be loved by him and to love him in return. (From Chapter 2 of Of Men and Mary)

At dawn on the Lord’s Day, my third day in the hospital, I had a mystical experience, a dream that was not a dream. In it, I relived the experience of dying. My body began to writhe in intense mental and spiritual anguish as I felt the loss of my life. Horrified, I received the spiritual and true knowledge that if I had gone to judgment, my life was forfeit. Instead of experiencing union with God in the way that I had, I would have received an eternal sentence: banishment! For years, I had scared myself “to death” by doing extreme sports, but nothing I’d ever experienced remotely came close to my reaction. A paralyzing terror ripped through my being, causing my heart rate to skyrocket and my blood pressure to shoot up. It was a fear like I’d never known. For a fleeting moment, I experienced the complete abandonment and separation from God and others, without the hope of ever being reunited. I was going to be cast out, without parole, into a lonely, solitary torment forever because through my thoughts, words, and actions, I chose hell without consciously knowing that I had. I would not wish this experience on my worst enemy. None of us think that we’re that bad. We assume that there is always someone worse than we are, that perhaps that other person might deserve hell. Or we think that no one deserves hell. Many of us are taught to believe that God so loves the world, or at least me, that he would never send anyone, or at least not me, to hell. Or perhaps we believe that hell does not exist. We are wrong. At our own personal judgment, which none of us can escape, we will know full-well where we are lacking and what destiny suits our soul. (From Chapter 2 of Of Men and Mary)Rick’s fleeting experiences of heaven and hell are a warning and a hope for all of us. The afterlife is not something that happens to us just when we die. Right now, in this very moment, our soul is standing in eternity. We are communing with heaven, hell, or purgatory at all times. To put off thinking of our eternal destination until the end of our life is a grave error. Eternity is now, and now is eternity. Let us live according to where we wish to be. In our particular judgement when we come before Truth and Love himself and receive an entire life review, we will know exactly where we stand before God and where we deserve to go. Some people have already experienced something similar, an illumination of their conscience, while still in the flesh. In a very brief period of earthly time, they see a life-review of their sins, and when it is over, they are never the same. Rick Wendell also had such an experience ... https://youtu.be/xQb61yWQw1o Should you wish to read Fr. Rick Wendell’s remarkable story of conversion, along with the stories of five others: a convicted murder, a gentle lamb who lost everything, a man caught in illicit sexual relationships, a football player tackled by the Blessed Mother, and a married man whose marriage was as good as dead, it can be found in the book, Of Men and Mary: How Six Men Won the Greatest Battle of Their Lives, available through www.QueenofPeaceMedia.com/of-men-and-mary and Amazon.com.
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Copyright 2019 Christine Watkins
About the Author

Christine Watkins
Christine Watkins, inspirational speaker and author, was saved from death and atheism, through a miracle of divine grace. She is the founder of QueenOfPeaceMedia.com, the author of TRANSFIGURED: Patricia Sandoval's Escape from Drugs, Homelessness, and the Back Doors of Planned Parenthood and Full of Grace: Miraculous Stories of Healing and Conversion through Mary’s Intercession. See ChristineWatkins.com, and visit QueenOfPeaceMedia.com.
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