An Incredibly Busy Schedule Prompts a Renewed Focus on Family

Betty Vertin takes an honest look at the struggles she’s faced as a working mom and how she was reminded that motherhood really is her calling. 

It's been a couple of months since I last wrote an article. It feels like my life took a backflip into our backyard pool in those few months. In some ways, the backflip feels graceful and the cool water refreshing; in other ways, it feels like I've hit my head on the edge of the pool and am struggling to stay afloat. 

In February, I wrote about my decision to continue working as a professional in special education and taking classes to become a certified teacher. It was a decision I made because, at that time, I needed to return to work to help support my family financially, and my husband had taken a significant pay cut. 

However, shortly after that article was published, my husband was offered a new job. A job that was wonderful for our family in many ways. He no longer had to travel for work; he'd be home every night. The pay was better than it had been before his pay cut.  

Changing My Mind About My New Direction

Most of all, it allowed me to change my mind about returning to the workforce full-time. It allowed me to stay home and devote all of my time to my family. 

I am a mother to seven children: Lexi, 24, Max, 19, Chance, 18, Rowen, 16, Charlie, 14, Mary, 10, and Callie, 3. Max, Rowen, and Charlie all live with Duchenne muscular dystrophy (DMD), a fatal and progressive muscle-wasting disease. I act as primary caregiver for Max, Rowen, and Charlie.  

Over the last ten months or so, I realized the busyness of my life, as I returned to work and lowered my defenses. My schedule was so full and my responsibilities so numerous that it often felt like I was giving everything I had to get by. I was struggling to find time for my marriage or to spend time with my adult child. It quickly turned into a trap I didn’t realize I had entered. 

I worked forty hours a week, every weekend day, and played catch-up on laundry, medication preparation, meal planning, and children’s activities. Mary and Chance are both busy student athletes and every day off from school is jam-packed with medical appointments. Max, Rowen, and Charlie have several specialist doctors located in Denver, a five-hour drive for us. Additionally, they are all part of a clinical trial that also requires travel to Denver. 

I Was Juggling Too Much

Families and moms juggle a lot. I'm not doing more than most, but it was more than I was made for. Just because I could do it did not mean it was good for me. Sleep was hard to come by, exercise was non-existent, and the time I used to have to cook somewhat healthy meals for my family was limited. My husband and I both gained weight while eating out more. We were stressed out and grumpy at each other and our kids. 

I had already cut out my weekly hour of Adoration to return to work. By spring, we were struggling to attend Mass consistently. We knew we shouldn’t miss it, but we didn't necessarily want to; we were exhausted. The evil one was definitely at work with messages like, "It's good for the boys to stay home and rest," and "You work so hard and need some down time." 

My husband and I finally looked at each other and said, "It's too busy if we're not going to Mass." It was about then that my husband got his new job. It was an answer to prayers.  

I finished out my contract and worked through the middle of May. It took me a month to regain my footing at home. Once I could stop to breathe, I noticed my son Max had been struggling in his first year of college, and that my youngest had developed behaviors from her routine while I was at work. Our home didn’t feel like the soft place to land I had designed. 

Back Where I Belong

I doubted my role in the home, my influence on the pace of life, and all the things I can do for my kids that no one else can do in the same way. I would work again if we needed me to, and maybe I'll return once all the kids are adults, but for now, staying home is where I belong. 

When I left to go back to work, I felt very unappreciated. Although I felt like I was doing everything for my family, maintaining the schedules, all of the laundry, cooking, cleaning, holiday planning, school meetings, caregiving, and managing the medical side of my sons’ diagnosis, I rarely felt gratitude from my family.   

I had lost sight of the fact that motherhood is my calling. I don’t do it for a 'thank you'; I do it because it's what God asks me to do.  

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Copyright 2025 Betty Vertin
Images: Canva