Do What Is Best for Your Family

Michelle Nott passes along some advice she has learned about setting priorities when it comes to the holidays.

The end of the year is always so busy with Christmas and New Year's plans, and it feels like we spend the full month prepping everything for the holidays. There is also a lot of pressure put on moms to make the season the best one possible for their families. Social media has added to this pressure and can make one doubt the choices made. Am I teaching the kids enough about the true meaning of Christmas? Did I get a gift for everyone I needed to? Is my gift good enough? Do I have the best goals for the New Year?

I know in years past I’ve been tempted to try to fit in as many holiday activities as I can, make all the traditional food and treats for my family, mail out Christmas cards, plan gifts, make a craft, and write a list of goals for the upcoming year. But it all adds up and takes its toll on everyone. What I’ve learned throughout the years as our family has grown is we have to look at each year and do what is best for our family at that time.

Last year we were in a better place to do more activities with the kids. This year, the kids are involved in more extra-curriculars, my husband is recovering from back surgery, and I just don’t have the ability to say yes to every Christmas party and event this year. We have had to skip some holiday gift exchanges. I am still working on Christmas cards (and by working, I mean I ordered them and have yet to send any out).

A few years ago, we decided not to put up a big Christmas tree because we knew we were going to move in January and didn’t want to worry about putting up a tree and taking it down in the midst of chaos during a move. The next year, we got a bigger tree put up and the older two kids were able to help us decorate. We did what was best for our family at that time and it worked for us. The year before we moved, we decided not to visit any family and stay home because we had a newborn and didn’t feel up to traveling. It was the right decision for us at that time.

null

We decided to spend Christmas with my family this year, which means we will be flying there and back, so that is our big adventure this year. But everything else has taken a back seat. I have baked a few treats, but that is when I felt like doing it and had time, instead of forcing something to fit into the schedule. We aren’t able to do as many Advent activities this year, but we still have managed to light the candles each weekend and talk about advent with the kids. We got a deck of Jesse Tree cards that we’ve started (we are behind, but that’s okay), and the cards are so much easier than doing a Jesse Tree for us this year!

Don’t be afraid to make decisions that are different for your family this year. Christmas and New Year's traditions are fun but not always attainable. I feel like they are emphasized too much and can also put unnecessary pressure on moms to pass on traditions. This year looks a little different since Christmas falls on a Monday. Maybe you normally go to Christmas Eve Mass, but going to Mass twice in one day would be too much for the younger kids. Maybe instead, this year you go once on Sunday morning (Christmas Eve) for the Sunday obligation, and once on Christmas morning.

Click to tweet:
Do what is best for your family and don’t feel bad if things look a little different this year. #CatholicMom

Do what is best for your family and don’t feel bad if things look a little different this year. The meaning of Christmas is to celebrate the birth of our Savior and love and hope entering into the world. If you need to say no to things and set boundaries to celebrate this year the way you would like to celebrate, that’s okay! And maybe stay off social media so you don’t get stuck in a comparison game.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and start to the New Year whatever way you decide to celebrate!

null