Do You Have an Escape Hatch?

Katie Flodder details four ways to better manage those high-stress parenting moments that seem to hit us at the worst times.

It’s 5 o’clock, and the witching hour weighs heavily upon our household. School permission slips are tossed hastily in my direction, and shouts of, “Has anyone seen my leotard?!” echo throughout the house. The leotard query comes too late, as gymnastics started 15 minutes ago. I’ve taken my attention from the stove a hair too long, and a burning aroma fills the kitchen. 

I can literally feel the cortisol coursing through my body and my chest muscles tighten in response. Shrieks of sibling rivalry cause my teeth to clench like a vise. 

Chaos and discouragement in motherhood? You’re not alone  

Every Mom can relate to this experience. In our home, it rolls around every weeknight like clockwork. Maybe yours is Saturday morning while attempting to pull kids out of beds while stuffing breakfast into bellies and cleats into bags. It’s a universal Mom experience, and for many, it’s accompanied by sensory overload and the stress of feeling pulled in too many directions at once, too often.  

Moms are a tough lot. We tend to put our heads down and work hard to care for our families. Saint Gianna Molla echoes this:

Look at the mothers who truly love their children: how many sacrifices they make for them. They are ready for everything, even to give their own blood so that their babies grow up good, healthy, and strong. (SaintGianna.org)

At a recent girl’s night out, my fellow mom friends traded stories of parenting fails amid those chaotic moments. One of my girlfriends declared that she tired of it: the hours spent lovingly pouring into our beautiful families, only to end up lamenting that our perceived failures somehow ruined it all. That’s not accurate, though; we aren’t failures but rather hardworking moms giving it our all. However, sometimes what we really need is an escape hatch — something to help better manage those high-stress parenting moments. 

We’ve all heard the phrase ad nauseam, and let’s be real, there’s a reason it sticks: You’ve got to put your own oxygen mask on first in order to help those around you. In those moments when the kids are screaming in chorus and pots are boiling over (literally and figuratively), do you have a set of tools or escape hatches to help you navigate the daily chaos? 

Four Ways to Find Your Escape Hatch  

Revamp the Schedule

Y’all. Sometimes the current schedule ain’t scheduling anymore. It’s OK to take a step back and regularly revaluate your family’s schedule. Do Johnny and Susie really need to be enrolled in three after school activities each? Maybe not. Regularly auditing your schedule and its effect on your family will keep it feeling like an intentional decision. 

Try Breath Prayer

A breath prayer has kept me from uttering many a regretful statement in high stress moments with the kids. In addition, belly breathing lets your body know that you aren’t in fact being chased by a bear and signals your brain to calm down. You can create a prayer that resonates best with you or you’re welcome to borrow mine from John 14:27: Inhale deep into your belly, and say out loud or silently, “My peace I leave with you.” Next, exhale and say, “My peace I give you.”  

Take Your Own Timeout

For the occasions when you’ve reached that point, remember that moms are human beings too, and it’s important to honor our limitations. If your kids are in a safe place, it’s OK to excuse yourself for a 5-minute bathroom break or simply step into the next room to calm down. Removing yourself for even a quick moment can bring your body’s fight or flight response down to a manageable level.  

An Ounce of Prevention

Take a moment for honest self-reflection. Are your physical needs — like proper nutrition and adequate sleep — being met? If not, what are the possible barriers? In addition, moms are not only caregivers but also emotional and spiritual beings with God-given passions and interests that need nurturing. If we can identify the areas we’re needing more TLC, our overall stress level will improve. This may require an open conversation with your husband and family members to identify ways they can support you. 

During your next prayer time, ask Jesus to help you in contemplating your stress escape hatches. He desires for us to live motherhood with a Jeremiah 29:11 posture, resting in the knowledge that He has good plans for us “so as to give you a future of hope.” His arm is wrapped tightly around your shoulder as you walk in step down the path of motherhood. Jesus is always with us on this motherhood journey; our vocation makes us more like Him, and there’s so much beauty in our work. 

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Copyright 2025 Katie Flodder
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