Focus on Your Children, Not on What Others Think

Cassidy Van Slyke Blenke encourages moms of young children to keep their eyes on their little ones and not on the opinions of others.

When I first attended Mass before having children, I recall witnessing the distraction of lively children in the pews along with their corralling parents attempting to quiet them, encouraging “hands in lap” and “face forward.” I was curious about their exuberant presence, as I was utterly oblivious that I would be dealing with a similar scenario just a few years later.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you, a prophet to the nations I appointed you. (Jeremiah 1:5)

When I first became a mother, I was consumed with trying not to disrupt public surroundings with my crying babies, and even with my second child, I was highly aware of her toddler temper tantrums in public, ensuring we made a quick escape so we wouldn’t cause a scene. Fast forward to today, as I was shopping at the craft store with three of my four kiddos, all voicing their opinions that they want candy, are tired, and so on, creating an orchestra of chaos.

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Three years ago, I would have been embarrassed, feeling insecure about what people were thinking, possibly that my children don’t behave or act “appropriately” in public. After building up a tolerance around stressful child-rearing moments, I attempt to channel God’s grace so that I can ignore what’s happening around me, including other people’s glances, and shift my focus solely to my children’s immediate needs.

During this particular outing, I reassured them that we would be home soon and provided them with a solution, but the positive redirection was somewhat unsuccessful. Yes, their cries & screams persisted, but I remained calm, got them to the car, and silently congratulated myself for successfully buckling in their rebelling bodies. Full disclosure: not every moment of managing large little personalities is handled with calming fortitude.

The chaos that ensues when I attempt to get my entire gang (ages five, four, two, and sixteen months) ready for any outing, especially Mass, requires the grace of God and plenty of patience. It was just this year that I embraced the same approach of focusing on myself and my children alone and not allowing myself to be consumed with how we might appear to others.

I make a point to bring my children to the front of Church so they can wave “hello” to Jesus and light a candle for family and friends. The bottom line in all of this is that we, beautifully busy mothers, need to remind ourselves that God wants us to bring our little ones—cries, tantrums, and all—to experience all His love and splendor.

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God wants us to bring our little ones—cries, tantrums, and all—to experience all His love and splendor. #CatholicMom

Our Church cry room door has a gold plaque with a very simple yet meaningful message, “Welcome, babies and young children. Jesus loves you.”

I take this comforting signage as a gentle nudge and reminder that while this season of life is loud and messy, we can all come together under God; after all, he loves all of us. Let’s push aside our worries about appearance and embrace what is our most extraordinary gift, showing our children God’s almighty love.